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Fighting Fair

This was a guest post on another site early last year.

Everyone, at times, has disagreements. How boring would life be if everyone agreed all of the time? How you handle those disagreements may mean disaster.

This is particularly true when you are arguing with your spouse. You spend most non-working moments with this one person, this wonderful, loving, infuriating person. Your emotions will naturally run high while discussing the things you care most about with the person you care most about. Arguments are not only natural, but inevitable.

How do you have an argument with someone you love without lasting resentment?

You have to argue fairly. There are a few principles to remember during an argument.

When your partner is talking, your job is to listen with all of your energy. You are not interrupting. Your are not planning your rebuttal while waiting for your turn to talk. Your are listening, nothing else. If you don’t listen, you can’t understand. If you don’t understand, you can’t find a resolution.
Remember that your partner cares. If she didn’t care, she wouldn’t feel so strongly about the argument. This isn’t a war, just an argument. She still wants to spend the rest of her life with you. Keeping this in mind will change the entire tone of the argument into a positive interaction. You will still disagree, but you will be looking for a solution together, instead of finding a “win” at any cost.
Search for the best intent. Remember #2? There is an incredibly good chance that, if there are two ways to interpret something your partner has said–a good way and a bad way–your partner probably meant the good way. Even if you are wrong, it is far better to err on the side of resolution than the side of antagonism.
When your partner has finished speaking, it’s still not your turn to argue. Your job now is to repeat your understanding of the issue, without worrying about problem-solving. Before you can refute the argument–or even establish your disagreement–you have to know that you understand her position and she has to know that you do. Without understanding, there can be no path to resolution that doesn’t cause resentment. If you have too much resentment, you won’t have a marriage.

After all of this, it will finally be your turn to make your point. Hopefully, your partner will be following the same rules so you can solve your problems together, without learning to hate each other.

Arguments in your marriage aren’t–or shouldn’t be–intended to draw blood. Fights happen. If your goal is to win at any cost, you will both lose, possibly everything.

Healthcare.gov: Is this failure a warning of what’s to come?

Politicians

The official launch of online registration for government healthcare has been rife with disastrous glitches from the very beginning. This cataclysmic failure has spurred severe service outages across the country, and this chronically dysfunctional interface serves as foreshadowing for an epidemic of systematic organizational deficiencies. Healthcare.gov is only the first in a series of planned bureaucratic catastrophes.

Luckily, this informative overview exists to demystify the overly complex world of the medical legislation informally known as Obamacare. Being armed with the facts provided below can protect anyone during these times of economic uncertainty in which the destabilizing influence of expensive health treatments can suddenly arise.

The Internet Errors

The requirement of preemptive registration resulted in a complete system crash. The ability to input health data was also starkly limited. Security issues also seemed evident as certificates failed to show updated validations, and there was no indication of where confidential information would be stored.

Lack of Foresight and Oversight

The decision to mandate initial registration was a hastily made last-minute change that failed to consider the magnitude of public interest. This unfortunately coincided with a government shutdown, which left limited federal resources available to respond to claims of malfunctioning servers. The biggest mistake made by the Department of Health and Human Services was underestimating the massive influx of uninsured applicants.

To further complicate woes, a chief contractor behind the layout of healthcare.gov is expected to testify that additional time and money could not have salvaged the doomed enlistment effort. His official testimony will shed light on administrative laziness, and the legislative committee is expected to issue serious reprimands, but nothing will recompense the thousands of individuals deprived access to healthcare registration on the date promised to them years in advance. These problems were completely avoidable, but the team in place refused to promptly pay attention.

Proposed Solutions

The Obama Administration has conveniently remained mum on the topic of minor adjustments to the healthcare law, but Congressional Democrats have proposed implementing small delays to the overall roll-out. The dates for enforcing the individual mandate have become a focal point of discussions to modify Obamacare. Because citizens were not given feasible access to the online enrollment system, it would be unconstitutional to levy fines for their lack of registration.

The Foreboding Warning

If politicians cannot even tackle basic website programming, then they should not be trusted to manage the well-being of millions of Americans. Partisan divisions have made two factions that are fully noncoalescent, which means all future fixes will be the result of an incomplete compromise between two warring parties. Real health concerns have been forgotten by the incessant squabbling of politicians in their ivory towers. This means that every new initiative will only cause further societal strife and struggle. Members of Congress have expanded the breadth of their authority without grasping the technological realm. As a consequence, these politicians will continue overextending the limits of their power, and the public will be left to pick up the pieces.

Cheap Conference Calls

Business

Sometimes, a conference call can make you thousands of dollars. Whether you’re pitching a product, or planning a new service to offer, sometimes you need to be able to talk with a team.

Business owners rely on many technological tools to conduct business day to day. Online business conferencing is one of the more popular services that owners have come to rely on. There are lots of online websites that provide free conference calling services that will save the small business owner some cash. Some of these sites offer permanent free calling for life and others offer free calling for a limited time only.

Free Conference Calls

There are a number of free conference call services out there. For most, you can use the site and get unlimited free conference calling 24 hours a day and seven days a week. This is a permanent full time offer and no credit card is needed with the best of the service. You can often conference with up to 96 different users at the same time and spend at least six hours on each call. That is more than enough time for the average business owner to conduct all of their all business with fellow participants.

Skype

Skype is another company that has a free business conferencing service for all Skype users. There is no fee for conference calls as long as all of the users have downloaded Skype. Anyone that wishes to use their mobile phone to join in can be added by purchasing Skype Credit. Payments can be made online or through payment processing services like PayPal. This is a cheap way for a small business owner to connect with team members via conference call.

Go To Meeting

GoTomeeting.com is the most well known of the companies providing conference calling services. The company offers its GoToMeeting, GoToWebinar, and GoToTraining that provide unlimited usage for business owners. Basic plans start at $15 a month which is a bargain for owners that have frequent conference calls with employees and customers. At the high end of their offering is GoToTraining at $150 per month. GoToMeeting has a lot of features including the recording and playback of all meetings. This is a useful option for any attendee that misses a meeting and needs to catch up.

These are just a few of the options available to the business owner who is on a budget and looking for a way to stay connected with his employees.

Kim Kardashian’s Baby Has It Easy: How Much Does It Cost To Have a Baby?

Celebrities

If you have not heard that Kim Kardashian has officially given birth to baby North West with rapper boyfriend Kanye West, you have probably been hiding under a rock.

Baby North was welcomed to the world several weeks early on June 15, and since then has been showered with thousands of dollars in gifts from family and celebrity friends like Beyonce and Jay-Z. Saying that baby North will never want for anything materialistic is putting it lightly, but how much does it truly cost for the average person to have a baby in today’s modern age? Here is a brief breakdown that will help you start saving before you start planning to have your very own precious baby.

The Hospital Bills and Doctor Visit Costs

While you probably will not have to pay for your prenatal and post-natal care out-of-pocket, the average insurance plan does come with out-of-pocket percentages that you must pay when you are hospitalized or when you visit the doctor. If you did not account for the medical bills when you were budgeting for baby, this is the first financial roadblock you will run into. You might not give labor in a luxurious suite like Kardashian, but it will feel like you did when you get the bill. Most parents report spending about $2000 out-of-pocket for the delivery and the hospital stay. This does not include the cost for co-pays for doctor visits. If you do not have insurance, expect to spend about $10,000 for a vaginal birth or $16,000 for a cesarean section, assuming there are no complications.

The Costs of Caring for a Newborn Baby

You will get some great gifts at your baby shower, but you still will spend money on the necessities. If you are not lucky enough to get $7000 gifts from your friends like Kanye and Kim, you should allot a budget for the big items first, and the basic daily necessities second. You will need a crib, a stroller, a car seat, and eventually a highchair, but these items are not as expensive as you might think. If you can pass up the designer brands, you can find great deals at consignment stores or retailers. Thrifty shoppers can purchase the must-haves like car seats, baby monitors, changing tables, cribs and strollers for $450 or less.

In addition to the immediate necessities, you will incur other regular expenses for diapers, clothing, wipes and childcare. Kim and Kanye may be guilty of buying $50 onesies, but you do not have to have custom Gucci clothing made for your little one. Remember that your baby will grow out of their infant clothing in a month or less. Accept hand-me-downs, and you can save quite a bit of money. Diapers, on the other hand, are a re-occurring expense that will not go away. Expect to spend at least $80 to $100 per month on diapers and wipes until your baby is potty trained. If you are not breastfeeding, allot about $100 per month for formula until your baby advances to baby food.

Kim and Kanye may have plenty of money to give Baby North whatever her heart desires, but new parents can raise a baby on a reasonable budget. It is difficult to put an actual number on how much it costs to have a baby, but being a parent is not cheap. Keep the fact in mind that love and affection is much more valuable than the material things. Consider the real costs of being a parent, and this includes lifestyle costs and monetary costs.

Get Age on your Side

Misc

One of the best ways in the early years of your career to provide for your long term future is to have a 401K for your retirement where your employer will match your own contributions up to a certain figure. Your contribution is pre-tax incidentally. Albert Einstein once said that compound interest was the ‘eighth wonder of the world’ and it is compound interest that will help even small amounts to grow into a substantial figure on retirement if savings begin in your 20s.

It is worth illustrating this with real figures. A figure of $4,000 a year saved between the ages of 25 and 35 with no further contributions after that will produce a larger final figure at 65 than someone starting at 35 and contributing $4,000 per annum for 30 years. The latter has invested three times as much as well. The factors that decide this are time and compound interest. The whole total of former is working for him or her for 30 years. A fair amount of the second example is only ‘working’ positively for a limited time. Start early!

An Illustration

It is worth looking at examples to see what size of fund is realistic. 8% is not an unreasonable sum to put away on a salary of $40,000 a year, a salary that grows at 2% per annum for 20 years. If the employer pays 3% in addition and growth is a modest 7%, the fund at the end of 20 years would be around $210,000. If you can put 10% in instead, or if you extend the saving period to 30 years the fund rockets to over $500,000! It’s time and compound interest again because in the example over 20 years you will have only put in just under $80,000 yourself to have a fund two and a half times bigger.

A Couple of Observations

Can there be a bigger argument for saving from an early age than that? Surely not! The question is how to manage your money well enough so that you can start to save in the early years of your career. You may well have a student loan to begin to pay off. Probably two of the most important things to do with realisticloans.com, or not to do depending how you look at it are:

Credit Cards. Avoid building up debts by buying things you cannot afford. The interest charged on outstanding balances is penal. If you have a balance, perhaps as a legacy of subsidizing your student life, take out a personal loan to clear it. It is much cheaper in terms of interest rate and repayable in monthly instalments over a fixed term
Resist the temptation of trying to impress with material things. Impress people by who you are and not a new car or the latest fashions.

Expenditure

There is no doubt that you may well have monthly expenditure you did not face before, especially if you have relocated to start work. Such expenditure is unavoidable but you should spend some time on researching whether you are getting the best deals. That applies to a number of significant things such as utilities, insurance and telephone. There are comparison websites that do a good deal of research for you and at least will provide you with a short list to look at further.

The aim is to create a regular surplus that can be transferred out of your checking account when your monthly pay comes in to work positively for you and your future. You will need to apply self-discipline to your finances but you can see from the example of ‘time and compound interest’ what they benefits are for being in control. It really is not much to sacrifice.

There will be times in the years to come when you have big financial decisions to make. Real estate comes to mind immediately and a long term mortgage can reasonably be regarded as positive debt because it should produce good growth over the term you have committed yourself to. With real estate often comes marriage and a family; and all the expense that involves. Yet that responsibility is yet another reason to start young in saving for the future, and your possible dependents.

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