Search Results for “future-dreams/mistakes-made”

Future Dreams

While jogging with my wife a few days ago, we had a conversation that we haven’t had in years. We discussed our dreams.

It’s an important conversation for couples to have. What are your hopes? What are your dreams? Where do you want to be in 10 years? In 20? In 50? Planning for the future gives you a map for the present.

My wife and I hadn’t had this conversation in years. A few days ago, we did. Our life-goals are simple and achievable.

I want to leave the corporate world and support my family with writing and the training classes I do. I want a chunk of land outside of any major metropolitan area, but close enough for the entertainment and shopping. I want enough land to expand my classes on my own property, relying on no one.

My wife wants enough land to have some horses. It was unspoken, but I think she wants my goals to take off so they can support her goals, too.

We want a comfortable retirement and we want to help the kids with college.

We’re a bit behind the game for college funding. That’s ok, though. There is nothing wrong with a kid working his way through college and learning those life lessons.

We are also behind on the retirement. But, if I can support us doing the things I love, I don’t need $X million. Retirement isn’t a cessation of activity, it is taking the time to do the things you love on your own schedule. If writing a book while sitting on my private range is enough to fund our life, that’s the perfect retirement.

Mistakes Made

Finance, Life

: Image by K. Sawyer via Flickr

My wife and I started dating when we were 19. We married shortly thereafter, and–at 31–we have 3 kids.

Now, most of a decade into my career, with a dozen years of experience as both a husband and an adult, I think we make decent decisions.

When we were younger, though, we were dumb. We didn’t think much past the “year” in “0% for a year”. Our long-term financial planning was non-existent. Heck, most of the time, our short-term financial planning usually consisted of a call to the bank to see if we had enough money to buy whatever we wanted at the moment or rushing to the bank to deposit the change we found in the couch, hoping to beat the last check we wrote.

We were never able to judge ourselves based on how happy we were. It was always a matter of how we were doing in relation to someone else. A relative–a close relative–is 10 years older than we are. That means, naturally, that she had a 10-year headstart on us. We saw the nice house, the nice cars, and the nice furniture and couldn’t help but compare it to our situation. Their stuff was always shiny and new, while we were making repairs and ignoring rust.

That comparison always made responsible spending difficult. We watched one friend upgrade her house twice in 2-3 years, while driving nice cars. Why couldn’t we do that, too?

Bad logic.

In one year, we put an addition on our house, got married, bought a brand-new pickup, and spent 10 days on a ship in the Caribbean. We did that with a gross household income of about $40,000. Before that summer, we didn’t have a mortgage. Since that summer, we have had a car payment, a credit card payment, and a mortgage payment.

I can still smell the scorched plastic peeling off the sides of our well-used credit cards. That year was when we figured out how everyone else affords all of the nice stuff: they bury themselves in debt.

The debt was never a big deal to us. Yes, money was tight. We always had more month than money, but we also had $50,000 in available credit on the cards and a $5000 credit line serving as our overdraft protection. Since we never missed a payment, we thought we were doing well. After all, you don’t have to be able to afford the debt, as long as you can afford the payment, right?

After that, we started putting the nice truck to work hauling home new furniture. Who can go wrong with 0% for a year? Surely, I’d have a raise by the time that comes due.

The same time we paid off the truck, I got a raise. It was a good raise. There we were, a wallet full full of balance-laden credit cards, a mortgage that we could have done without, furniture we were still paying for years later, a freshly paid-for truck, and a small stack of new money. That meant, of course, that we could “afford” a new car that came with a payment that was–coincidentally–equal to the raise. No problem.

Six weeks later, I got laid off.

Two weeks into the layoff, we found out that we were no longer “trying” to have another baby, we were just waiting for 9 months.

I wish(wish!) that would have been a wake-up call, but that moment of clarity was still 18 months away. The driving obsession to get out of debt was another 18 months away. Unemployed and expecting brat #2, I still wasn’t ready to take a rational look at my finances. That, however is a story for another day. Today, is my day to share my biggest financial blunders, not my successes.

What financial mistakes have you made?

Dreams

Finance, Life

Ever since she was a little girl, my wife has wanted to be a horse. Err, work with horses.

The problem is that most jobs working with horses pay horse-crap. It’s hard to raise a family on a stablehand’s income.

Her alternative was to own horses. This comes with a different set of problems. The biggest problem is that we live on 1/8 of an acre in a first-ring suburb. That’s not a lot of room to graze, though I would be willing to give up my spot in the garage.

I rock like that.

Boarding a horse costs a minimum of $200 per month. Two girls means two horses, otherwise, they won’t both be able to score in the saddle club. For the math challenged, that’s $400 per month, plus about $300 in preventative vet care per year.

$5100 for a year of boarding an extremely obsolete car.

Then, you need a trailer to get the horse to shows. You need saddles and reins and and short-legged stirrups and feedbags and muck-rakes and brushes and combs and hoof-cleaning-thingies and other stuff that will catch me by surprise for years to come.

Expensive.

My rough estimate is that it costs at least $10,000 to get into horse ownership, and that’s not counting the horse itself.

You can buy a horse for well under $1000 if you aren’t concerned about registration or speed. A 15 year old horse can last 10-15 more years, so it’s not money down the drain.

That’s $12,000 to get in and $5100 per year to stay in. Minimum.

Never let it be said that I’m not a pushover. Last month, we bought an SUV that can pull a horse trailer. Last weekend, we bought the trailer. That’s two major steps towards making my wife’s dreams come true. The rest of the plan culminates in a hobby farm in the sticks.

There are several steps in between.

I just need to put the brakes on every other step. We’ve been offered the free use of one pony next season, and we may be able to get another for the same price. Beyond that, we need to be patient. There will be no ponies purchased until the new truck and old mortgage are paid.

Period.

Business Failure: Learn From My Mistakes

Business

I am a failure.

Ten years ago, I started a small web-design company with a friend. I had a larger-than-average stack of geek points and the ability to build a decent website.

We lacked two things.

Design talent. For me, design–whether graphic, web, or print–is a very iterative process. I build something, even if it’s crap, and incrementally improve it into something good. I understand the technical details of good design, but lack that particular creative spark.
Sales skill. I’m an introvert. As such, sales–particularly the act of initiating a sale–doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m bad at cold-calling and door-knocking. This was supposed to be my partner’s responsibility. As it turns out, his main talent was convincing me that he had one.

In short, we were trying to launch a tech company on a shoestring budget with nothing but technical skill.

The missing elements doomed us. We never had more than a couple of customers and eventually surrendered to the inevitable.

Ah, well. My investment was time.

The time investment came with some valuable lessons.

Get complementary talent. You have weaknesses. Find partners who are strong where you are weak and weak where you are strong. That guarantees every will realize actual value in the partnership. The whole will be greater than merely the sum of its parts.
Hire the skills you need. Make an honest assessment of your talents and skills. Do the same for your partners. If that talent pool is lacking something you need, buy it. If you need a graphic designer, a writer, or a marketer, spend the money to get it. If you lack something truly necessary, your business will stagnate.
Learn the skills you need. Sales is a learnable skill. So is almost everything else. Even if you lack the talent and won’t be doing the work, you need to have a solid understanding of the skills necessary to run your business. Fluency isn’t necessary, but understanding is. Learn about the principles of good design, the art of cold-calling, and whatever else you are going to be relying on others to handle.

Starting a business can be rewarding, both emotionally and financially. I’ve never let myself be limited to just one income stream, but I try not to let my emotional investment cloud my judgment. Do things right and you’ll stand a better chance of making your business a success.

Cthulhu’s Guide to Finance

Finance

This is a guest post from Cthulhu, written in his house at R’lyeh. In the eons of his imprisonment, he has never contributed a blog post…until now. Be nice, this is his first post ever.

Cthulhu fhtagn. Cthulhu waits. Eons in R’lyeh–dead but dreaming–have taught me well the virtue of patience. Rush not into the abyss of hasty decisions.Lie patiently until the stars align and you can once again dominate your investments. As much as I despise virtues, patience is the one I practice.

Just as looking upon my form may cost you your sanity, obsessing over your finances may cost your loved ones the same. Instead, set your finances on a path of prosperity and work to hasten my return. Spend less than you earn. Earn more than you need. Give the rest to me.

Use the Shoggoth. Thought the postules of greenish light light may disgust those who have never devoured an entire planet, they are good for menial work. Use them, or their demented cousin, the automatic payment, to pay your bills. Set them to the task of making sure all of your bills are paid on time, leaving you free for more productive works. Do not, however, make the mistake of Ubbo-Sathla, whose fecundity spawned the vermin prototype known as homo sapiens. Keep your Shoggoth under control so they do not spend what you have not yet earned.

Avoid the Deep Ones. When dealing with the paramount evil(though I shouldn’t say that as a bad thing) of lenders, beware my servants. If they catch you in over your head, you will be screwed. If you cannot pay the price, there will be fees and punishments galore. A proper Cthulhu-fest of Chaos and Mayhem at your expense! A pound of flesh for every dollar not paid will be the standard when I arise, but for now, it is $39 for missing a payment or spending more than your limit.

“The only saving grace of the present is that it’s too damned stupid to question the past very closely.” This quote by my favorite historian demonstrates the futility of your mortal existence. If you learn from your mistakes, or–less painfully–the mistakes of others, you will grow as a person. Personal growth is entirely at odds with my goals as the Greater Evil. Learning from your mistakes will prevent you from making the same mistakes in the future. Einstein once said “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results” is the definition of insanity. That, or looking upon my form. One of those acts can be avoided. It is in your best interests to avoid insanity, at least until I awaken.

So many of those inhabiting my Earthly domain seem to suffer from my get Ghatanothoa‘s curse–absolute petrification in the face of their travails. When faced with a foe, fight! Do not collapse under the burden of your debts! Work! An inch, a dollar, a pound at a time: Defeat it! Do not quit and do not give up. Cthulhu does not forget or forgive.

That is the wisdom brought forth from my dead-but-dreaming slumber in R’yleh. Read it, understand it, follow it. It will serve you well until my return.

This post has been resurrected because I want to see it on the front page again.

How to Have a Perfect Life

Life

A few years ago, my wife and I were discussing life improvement, the options in front of us, and our future goals. She said she felt trapped by the scope of our goals and didn’t know where to start. That led to a discussion on

achieving our goals, which led to this.

Examine your life. Take stock of every aspect of your life. What pleases you? What upsets you? What do you do that adds no value to your life? Or worse, removes value? What do you do that adds the most value? What would you like to change? Eliminate? Improve? Count the small things. Nothing is insignificant. Write it all down and be specific.

Analyze your list. Are there any obvious patterns? Is there a single thread that is making you miserable or affecting multiple other items? Would eliminating 1 factor improve 90% of the rest? Is there a bad job or a toxic relationship ruining your happiness? Be honest and be critical.

What are your dreams? Where would you like to be in six months? A year? 5? 10? How would you like to retire? When? Write it all down. This is now your life plan.

Set goals. Set concrete, definable goals. Set goals that have an obvious success point. When you reach your goal, you want to be able to point it out. “Lose weight” is not a goal. “Lose 50 pounds in the next year” is a measurable, definable, concrete goal. Set incremental goals to reach your larger goals and, more importantly, your dreams.

Here’s an example:

Dream: Retire at 50.

Incremental Goal: Get a 10% raise within 6 months
Incremental Goal: Eliminate debt within 3 years
Incremental Goal: Max out 401k contribution
Incremental goal: Save 150,000 within 10 years
Incremental Goal: Save 45k each year after that.
Retire

When you are setting up your goal plan, make sure to include the analyzed items mentioned earlier. These are the things that will make today happier for you.

Now, you have examined your life. You have analyzed the results. You’ve gathered your dreams and compiled a goal plan based on your hopes, dreams, goals and desires. What’s next?

We’re going to take a page from David Allen. It’s time to Get Things Done. What do you have to do next to reach your goals? What is the next step? Don’t let yourself be overwhelmed by the scope of the entire list. Select one single item from your plan and look for the one single next step to make on the path to that goal.

Going back to the retirement goal plan, the next step towards a 10% raise could be researching salaries for your job description in your area to give you ammunition in the meeting with your boss. It could be updating your resume to hunt for a better paying job, or even just studying up on some resume tips.

If you want to run a marathon next year, the next step is to start walking every day to train your body.

If you want to improve communication with your spouse, the next step is probably to let her know.

If you want to eliminate debt, the next step may be setting up a budget or canceling unnecessary services like cable.

Every goal has a path leading to it. If that’s not true, you haven’t defined a concrete measurable goal.

Examine your life. Analyze your situation. Know WHAT you want. Know what you want to change. Set goals to get there, one step at a time. Take a single step towards your goals.

Then take another.

What are you doing to reach your goals and improve your life?

Search Results for: future-dreams/mistakes-made