- Dora the Explorer is singing about cocaine. Is that why my kids have so much energy? #
- RT @prosperousfool: Be the Friendly Financial “Stop” Sign http://bit.ly/67NZFH #
- RT @tferriss: Aldous Huxley’s ‘Brave New World’ in a one-page cartoon: http://su.pr/2PAuup #
- RT @BSimple: Shallow men believe in Luck, Strong men believe in cause and effect. Ralph Waldo Emerson #
- 5am finally pays off. 800 word post finished. Reading to the kids has been more consistent,too. Not req’ing bedtime, just reading daily. #
- Titty Mouse and Tatty Mouse: morbid story from my childhood. Still enthralling. #
- RT @MoneyCrashers: Money Crashers 2010 New Year Giveaway Bash – $7,400 in Cash and Amazing Prizes http://bt.io/DDPy #
- [Read more…] about Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-01-16
Money Hacks Carnival #105: The All Government, All the Time Edition
Welcome to the 105th edition of the Money Hacks Carnival: The All Government, All the Time Edition. Deep in the bowels of tax season, it’s not surprising that tax- and government-related articles are popular.
Editor’s Picks
LeanLifeCoach presents What Is Your Learning Style? This is an important lesson for anyone trying to teach. My main side hustle involves teaching. We try to address each learning style to engage all of our students. I’m a visual learner. In school, I always read ahead and I’ve never been able to focus while someone reads to me.
Consumer Boomer presents The Best IRA for You. Holy Educational Post, Batman! Be careful, you’ll learn something if you read this post.
PT presents How to Find Free Stuff Online Without Getting Spammed. I like free things. I hate spam. I’m a part of the target audience of this post. I use an active Gmail account for getting freebies. The spam filter can’t be beat.
Fanny Seto presents 5 Tips on How to Get a Job in this Economy. I’m glad I haven’t had to deal with this recently. If you’re unemployed, take the opportunity to develop a hobby or explore other opportunities. You may be out of work, but that means you have the one thing you can’t replace: time. Use it wisely.
Taxes or Feeding the Monster
Jeff Rose presents How to File Taxes with Your 1099s. All you’ve ever wanted to know (and more!) about the 1099.
Paul Williams presents Deduct Haiti Earthquake Relief Donations on Your 2009 Tax Return. If you itemize, make sure you include any donations to Haiti relief.
freefrombroke presents TurboTax Online 2009 Overview. I love TurboTax. I use it every year and have done so since I discovered I wasn’t capable of figuring out the Earned Income Credit.
Four Pillars presents What Happens If You Lose Your W2 Form?. Keeping track of your tax documents is always important, but what do you do if that doesn’t work?
Matthew Paulson presents Troublesome Tax Myths. Taxes aren’t optional. Ask Wesley Snipes.
Working for a Living or Earning the Monster’s Feed
Darwin presents 10 Highest Paying Degrees 2010 – Best Majors in Demand Now. The part that doesn’t surprise me is that the hard sciences pay well. Art-as-science comes with a smaller paycheck. Hmm….
J. Money presents Life in Grad School Doesn’t Have to Suck…All Your Money. I’ve didn’t make it to grad school, but I did work my way through college with a small baby. It’s good to have a support network.
The Financial Blogger presents Getting Ready for Another Purchase!. I’ve never given any thought to buying a blog. It’s a fascinating read. Make sure you read the related posts to get the full value.
Banking, Credit, and Investing or He Who Pays the Piper Calls the Tune
GLBL presents What to Expect From Mortgage Rate Trends for 2010. I learn something every day. Define “intraday”.
pkamp3 presents Cutting Up the Card. It may be caused by a down economy, but less consumer debt isn’t a bad thing.
D4L presents 20 Dividend Stocks Riding The Tsunami Of Dividend Increases. My first dividend-paying stock paid me 16 cents once. Stocks kind of scare me. In my mind, they’re not much different than a slot machine, so I don’t buy much. I think I had 20 shares of that first stock.
Personal Finance or The Government Doesn’t Have to Be Involved
Matt_SF presents Personal Finance Equations You Should Know: the Cash Flow Equation. If equations make you smile, this is the post for you.
Craig Ford presents 101 Ways To Improve Your Marriage Money Relationship. This goes beyond finance and dips firmly into happy relationship territory.
Hedy presents My Better Business Bureau experience. I’ve found that the sincere threat of a Better Business Bureau complaint can be effective, too.
2 Cents presents Economics: Your Personal Finance Weather Forecast. As a sci-fi junkie, I love the quote at the beginning of the article.
Dodging Taxes and Anarchism
Nope. No submissions in this category.
That’s all. While you’re here, don’t forget to subscribe to my rss feed and follow me on twitter.
The Zombie Guide to Saving
Brains!
Nobody has ever accused a zombie of being smart. The are, after all, dead and rotting. Their primary means of education themselves is eating the brains of the living, which is hardly an efficient learning style. Besides, in a strictly Darwinian sense, their victims are among the least qualified to teach useful skills.
Zombies smell. They are little more than flesh-eating monsters. They are lousy in the sack. Yet, for all their flaws, have you ever heard of a zombie in debt or worried about financing retirement? They are obviously doing something right.
What can you learn from a zombie? That depends on the type of zombie. Not all of the life-challenged were created equal.
There are 3 main types of zombies:
1. Slow shamblers are best recognized by their lurching gait and unintelligible grunting, similar to a frat party at 3AM. They are rarely fresh specimens. Arguably the the scariest of all zeds, due to the sheer inevitability of their assault, they do always get where they are going, even if it takes a while. Trapped in a pit or a pool, they will keep trying to reach their goal. A slow shambler, were he able to effectively communicate beyond the basic “Hey, can I eat your brain?” would tell you to approach your goals like the famous tortoise: slowly. Set aside an affordable amount in savings every week, no matter what. Even if your are stuck saving just $10 each month, you will eventually get your sweet, sweet brains.
2. Voodoo zombies are the still-living, yet mindless minions on a voodoo priest. These unlucky non-corpses crossed the wrong people–usually by stealing or not repaying their debts–and ended up cursed for it. They are forced to do the bidding of their masters until such time as their debt has been repaid, if ever. Their warning is to always pay your debts and do not steal. Honest, ethical behavior is the best way to avoid this fate.
3. Runners are almost always “fresh” to the game. As they decompose, they slowly transform into slow shamblers. These fellas can often pass for the living…from a distance. By the time you get close enough to identify them as monsters, your brains are on the menu. They are capable of sprinting for short distances and, on occasion, have even been seen to run up vertical walls. To properly categorize the runners, we have to break them down into 2 sub-groups. The first sub-group is the envy of all zombies still capable of envy. They have used their skills to trap enough prey(that’s us, folks!) that they will feel no hunger for the foreseeable future. They are secure. They are the successful runners. The other sub-group tries to emulate the first, but lack both planning and follow-through. While the first group builds momentum to secure their future, the second group tends to use that momentum to smack face-first into the wall, confused at where their lunch went. Constantly charging from one thing to the next, they never manage to sink a claw into their goals. To avoid falling into the second group, you’ll have to settle on a strategy and pursue it with all the single-minded, decomposing determination you can muster.
You know what they say: “Great minds taste alike.” What kind of financial zombie are you?
Don’t Screw Future-You
A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.
Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?
Me: Yes?
FMe: <Slap!>
Me: May I ask what that was for?
FMe: Of course.
Me: What was that for, jerk?
FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.
Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.
FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.
Me: Huh?
FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.
Me: ???
FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.
Me: I don’t appreciate….
FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?
Me: Yes, I do. So what?
FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?
Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?
FMe: What happens in a year?
Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.
FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.
Me: How was I to know?
FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.
Me: So? What are you going to do about it?
FMe: <Slap!>
Me: Really? Again?
FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.
Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?
FMe: Buy me dinner, first.
Me: Huh?!?!?
FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.
Me: None?
FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.
Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?
FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.
Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.
FMe: And knowing is half the battle.
What would your future-you have to say to you?
