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Dealing With the Police 101
Last night, a friend called me up and asked me to accompany him to the police station. The police had knocked on his door, waking up his girlfriend while he was out. When he called, they wouldn’t tell him why they wanted to talk to him. Was it an ex trying to make his life difficult or one of his employees getting investigated?
This friend has had a number of interactions with the police, but never learned how to deal with them. Before we left, I gave him a crash course in “stay out of jail”.
Lesson 1: The Police Are Not Your Friends.
During an investigation, you are a suspect. They are looking for a conviction. There may be a “good cop” trying to “help you out”, but he is trying to put you in jail. “Protect and Serve” doesn’t mean you. In general, it means society as a whole. During an investigation, they are serving the interests of the prosecutor.
Generally, they are going to look at you–as the target of their investigation–as the enemy. This is normal. They spend all of their time dealing with scumbags and s***heads. Naturally, they start to assume that everyone who isn’t a cop will fall into one of those categories.
Don’t get pissed when they act rude, ignore you, or anything else. It isn’t a lack of professionalism, it’s just a different profession. They are using interrogation techniques that have been proven successful. Ignore it and focus on Lesson 2.
It will feel wrong to disobey the authority you’ve been taught your entire life to obey. You’re not. You are standing by your rights. Nobody cares about your future more than you do. Certainly not the guy investigating you.
Lesson 2: Your Lawyer is Your Friend.
The second a police interaction starts to look like they are investigating you, demand your lawyer, then see Lesson 4. When you demand an attorney, they stop asking you questions. You can take it back and start talking, so again, see Lesson 4. It’s your attorney’s job to talk to the police and, if necessary, the media. It’s your job to talk to your attorney.
You don’t need an attorney ahead of time. Criminal defense attorneys are used to getting calls at 3AM. It’s part of their job. If you have a low enough income as defined by whatever jurisdiction you are being investigated in, you can get a public defender. That’s better than nothing, but I’d prefer to hire a professional shark, even if it means mortgaging my future. Prison is a big gamble.
Lesson 3. Consent is Your Enemy.
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.
“Officer, I do not consent to any search and I would like to speak to my attorney.” Remember this. Memorize it.
They need probable cause, a warrant, or permission to search your stuff. Never agree to it. Don’t stop them if they search anyway, but never, ever agree to a search. If the search is done improperly, your lawyer(see Lesson 2) will get the results of that searched thrown out.
It isn’t possible to get into more trouble for standing by your rights. There is no crime on the books anywhere in the US called “Refused Consent to Search”. Your day will not go worse because you defended your Constitutional rights.
Lesson 4. Shut Up.
I know a few defense attorneys. According to them, most of the people in jail either committed a crime in front of a bunch of witnesses, or they talked their way into jail. Shut up. You’ll want to either justify or defend yourself depending on the circumstances. Don’t. Shut up. It may be one of the hardest things you ever do, but keep your mouth closed. The only thing worse than talking is lying. Don’t lie, just keep quiet.
There is nothing you are going to say that will make your interrogator invite you home for Christmas. He isn’t your friend, you won’t meet his parents, you aren’t going to his birthday party. There is absolutely no win in talking to him. Shut up. The answer to every question is “Lawyer.” If the only thing you say babble is “Lawyerlawyerlawyerlawyerlawyerlawyer”, you’re probably not going to do too badly.
In your car, the dynamic changes a bit, but the principles don’t. When a cop pulls you over, don’t argue. You can’t win an argument with a cop on the side of the road. Be nice, be polite, and as soon as possible, pull into a parking lot and take as many notes about the encounter as you can. If you are planning to fight whatever he pulled you over for, don’t give him any reason to remember you or spin his official report to make you look bad. Again, shut up. Catching a theme?
Gambling With Your Future
If you are being investigated by the police, your future–or some part of it–is on the line. While you are gambling with your criminal record and your freedom, don’t forget that you are an amateur in this arena. The police, the prosecutor, and your attorney are the professionals and the stakes can be huge. Keep your mouth shut, call your attorney, and thank me later.
Answer: How Much Term Life Insurance Do I Need to Buy?
From a question posted here:
Thank you for all your help in my previous question. After meeting with the agent, I’ve decided on term life insurance over whole life. But I am still not sure how much term life I should buy. Should I buy as much as I could afford or some specific amount?
My answer(edited a bit):
That question is far too open-ended.
Are you married? If yes, are you the primary breadwinner? Do you have children? Investments? Savings?
Here’s my situation:
I am married, with three children. I have the primary income.
We have a mortgage, a car payment, and some consumer debt.
I added up all of the debt as my base level of term life insurance. My family will not be burdened with debt if anything happens to me.
To the base level, I added 5 years of my net income. Without changing a thing, my family will be supported exactly as is for 5 years if I die. They won’t, however, have the same level of expenses, due to the base level of insurance paying off all debt. All of my living expenses also evaporate. For example, there will be one car sold, one less mouth to feed and body to dress, etc.
I figure with the lower expenses and no debt, my insurance will support my family for 10 to 15 years if my wife manages the money right. If she continues to work, it should last almost forever.
How do you figure the “right” amount of life insurance?[ad name=”inlineright”]
Decision Making Made Easy
Have you ever had to make a difficult decision? Not necessarily a decision that’s difficult because it’s life-changing, but a decision that’s difficult because there are two phenomenally wonderful, yet mutually exclusive options?
For example:
- Should you put caramel or strawberry sauce on your ice cream?
- Should you go to Disney Land or Disney World?
- Should you subscribe to Live Real, Now by email or RSS?
- Should you take the job with the stellar benefits package or the higher salary?
These are all real decisions that you may be called on to make.
For most decisions, there are some alternatives that are easy to discard.
MadDog 20/20 isn’t a good alternative to caramel sauce on your ice cream. The local BDSM museum probably isn’t a great choice for a family vacation. Sending me hate mail is obviously worse than subscribing.
Then you’ve got some choices that are both okay, but one is clearly better. You’ve got free airfare and hotel. Do you go to Topeka, or Paris? Neither is horribly, but I think the choice is obvious. You’re going out to dinner. McDonald’s or…nevermind, this fits the first category.
After you’ve discarded the obvious bad choices and the okay-but-not-great choices, how can you decide between what’s left?
This is the point that starts to cause stress. What if you make the wrong choice? What if you regret it forever? What if you’re still not happy? Gridlock.
The reason your stuck is because it’s not apparent which is the better choice. All of your experiences and knowledge are telling you–on some level–that the options are identical in terms of your life, happiness, and goals. It truly does not matter which one you choose. You will probably be equally happy, either way.
Given that it doesn’t matter, you have two choices for making the final decision:
- Pick the one you want. The rational decision is a tie, so make it an emotional one. Does one job match your dreams, but with a bit more risk? Has one vacation destination been a goal since you were little? Do it!
- Flip a coin. If the decision doesn’t matter, leave it to fate. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you can always blame the quarter.
The one thing you don’t want to do is wait. Failing to decide is still a decision and one that is guaranteed to keep you from being satisfied with your choice. Don’t wait until you have all of the possible information, because that kind of perfect world doesn’t exist. Get to about 85% of fully informed and run with it. You’ll usually be happier making a decision–even the wrong one–than sitting back wondering “What if I had done that?”
How do you make hard decisions?
Sunday Roundup: Father’s Day
On Father’s Day, 3 years ago, my third and final kid was born. My kids are all horrible brats and I love them dearly.
I wouldn’t give up fatherhood for anything. Watching my kids grow and learn, steering their development, and teaching them how to navigate life is the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever been a part of. Also the most frustrating. I can’t imagine being anywhere else, not being with my kids. I have no respect for deadbeat parents.
I am incredibly grateful that I had a proper model for manhood and fatherhood. My dad taught me the concepts of honor, integrity, and responsibility. I couldn’t be the man I am now, if he wasn’t the man he is. Thanks, Dad.
Best Posts
Sometimes, the coolest things in the world are the things most likely to kill you. Call me crazy, but I’d happily strap a 1200 cc propeller to my crotch and find out what 10,000 feet looks like.
Via Budgeting In The Fun Stuff, Super Frugalette reminds us that, when there’s a significant amount of money involved, spending a few hundred dollars on an attorney isn’t wasteful.
Fivecentnickel discuss multi-level marketing. It doesn’t matter which company you are in, if your downline is more important that your product, it’s a bad business model.
Keith Ferrazzi shows us how to improve our body language when it really matters.
When I started driving, I tossed my car in a ditch going way too fast. Naturally, it was my parents’ fault for giving me the curfew I was trying to beat. They never would have bought it if I would have told them I was driving like my grandma and it jumped into the trees by itself. Why does the FBI think that’s believable? Corruption, maybe?
Financial Samurai talks about living a life without regrets, which is a personal goal of mine.
Food storage will become critical when the zombies come.
Beer is good. Even the cave-men thought so.
Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled
3 Ways to Keep Your Finances Organized was an Editor’s Pick in this week’s Festival of Frugality. Thanks!
5 Reasons Your Wealth Isn’t Growing was included in this week’s Carnival of Personal Finance.
Money Problems: Insurance was included in the Totally Money Blog Carnival.
Unlicense Health Insurance was included in last week’s Carnival of Personal Finance.
Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.
Yakezie Blog Swap
Last week, the Yakezie shared what they would do with a single financial do-over.
– Melissa from Mom’s Plans shares her biggest financial mistake at Barbara Friedberg Personal Finance: Opening an eBay Store and Using Credit. It is a great story about how not to grow your business and how competing priorities can pose a real challenge.
– Budgeting in the Fun Stuff shares her biggest financial mistake and potential do-over at Super Frugalette: Investing in a Friend’s Business. Its a good, but costly lesson learned about small business.
– Eric from Narrow Bridge Finance shares how He Wouldn’t Have Paid Down His Student Loans So Fast at The Saved Quarter. This may seem counter-intuitive, but he has some good points. Check it out.
– Mr. S from Broke Professionals shares how He Wouldn’t Have Bought a New Car at My Personal Finance Journey. This has some great analysis, especially considering the new car was a hybrid!
– The College Investor posted at Wealth Informatics: What you should know when you are investing?
– Wealth Informatics posted here: If you had one financial do-over, what would it be and why?
– Barbara Friedberg shares how She Was Scammed at Mom’s Plans. You have to watch out for the hard sell!
– Joe at Retireby40 tells us about How He Invested his 401(k) in Company Stock right before the dot com crash, at Financially Consumed. A financial adviser may have helped avoid this one!
– Financially Consumed shares his Car Purchase Do-Over And Over at Retireby40. Car addicts have it tough!
– LaTisha from FSYA shares her do-over story in It’s Never Too Late at Little House in the Valley. Sometimes the do-over is quicker and more painless than most.
– Little House yell’s Do-Over! Do-Over! at FSYA Online. It looks at the road to saving more, starting on an elementary school playground!
– The Single Saver asks, What Are The Long Term Consequences of Small Purchases at Totally Money. A cool post on how past purchases cost future returns!
– Miss Moneypenniless from Totally Money shares her story of Vacationing to the Brink of Bankruptcy. Sometimes a vacation can be fun, but the bills afterward may be daunting.
– Super Frugalette shares How a Lawyer Could Have Saved Her $24,700 at Budgeting in the Fun Stuff. Maybe lawyers are worth it sometimes?
– Jason from Live Real, Now shares how he Amassed $90,000 of Debt at Debt Eye. A good lesson in living a little more frugally.
– Kevin from Debteye shares his do-over: Not Buying a House Right Out of College at Live Real, Now. I have said it before that buying a house can be challenging right out of college.
– Penny from The Saved Quarter shares how She Would Have Finished College Before Having Kids at Narrow Bridge Finance. An awesome story that has will soon have a happy ending!
– Jacob from My Personal Finance Journey shares how he was Scammed on eBay at Broke Professionals. An important lesson for anyone selling or buying online.
– Marissa from Thirty-Six Months shares how she Accumulated a Ton of Student Loan Debt at So Over Debt. If you are going to live the life, you’re going to pay the price!
– Andrea from So Over Debt shares How She Would Have Started Saving for Retirementat Thirty-Six Months. I would love to read a post on each of the stories you mentioned getting to where you are now!
– Below Your Means shares his story about A Missed Investment Opportunity. There are so many times I wish I could have gone back and bought a stock!
Get More Out of Live Real, Now
There are so many ways you can read and interact with this site.
You can subscribe by RSS and get the posts in your favorite news reader. I prefer Google Reader.
You can subscribe by email and get, not only the posts delivered to your inbox, but occasional giveaways and tidbits not available elsewhere.
You can ‘Like’ LRN on Facebook. Facebook gets more use than Google. It can’t hurt to see what you want where you want.
You can follow LRN on Twitter. This comes with some nearly-instant interaction.
You can send me an email, telling me what you liked, what you didn’t like, or what you’d like to see more(or less) of. I promise to reply to any email that isn’t purely spam.
Have a great week!
Budgeting tips – sticking to your budget
If you are looking to get out of debt, or you are currently debt-free and want to stay that way, then it is important that you get a grip of your financial situation and live within your means.
A good way to do this is to create a budget as this gives you a clear indication of how much money is coming in, how much is going out and also highlights any areas where you may need to make cut backs should you be falling short each month.
Once you have sorted out the figures and made necessary amendments, for example paying bills by direct debit in order to make savings or cutting existing debts by carrying out a balance transfer to a lower rate credit card, it is time to start focussing on the lifestyle changes.
As you will find, it is one thing to create a budget and quite another to stick to it, but by adhering to the following steps and exercising a certain amount of will power, you should be able to ensure that you live within your means and resist the urge to reach for that credit card.
Keep focussed
Before you start to look at how you can stick to your budget you need to clarify why you need to stick to your budget!
A budget can initially seem like something that has been devised with the sole intention of stopping you having fun and buying or doing the things that you want. So it is important to remember that, though some cutbacks may be necessary in the short term, a budget is a long-term strategy that will allow you to take control of your finances and, all being well, live a happy life that is free from the worry of excessive debt.
Change your habits
Unfortunately, a successful budget can require a change in lifestyle and this can be one of the most difficult things to adhere to.
For example, if you have previously enjoyed eating out regularly then you may have to make cut backs in this area to ensure that you are living within your means. But, instead of seeing this as a negative, try to focus on the positives and remember the reasons why you are budgeting.
And a change in habits doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to cut back on your enjoyment of life and it may actually open your eyes to other pursuits you may not have previously considered.
For example, instead of eating out try preparing a meal at home and turn your dining room into a restaurant. This means that you can still have the fine dining experience but at a fraction of the price and without the worry of making a reservation!
Shop smarter
Lists figure heavily when creating a personal budget and list-making is a habit that you should get used to when trying to stick to your budget.
When budgeting it is vitally important to avoid impulse buying and a great way to do this is to always make a list of things you need before you go shopping.
This means that you will have a clear idea of what you need and you will be less inclined to make random purchases that may just turn out to be an unnecessary drain on your finances. It’s also worth mentioning at this point that you should always differentiate and prioritise the things you need over the things you simply want.
If you are unsure how to make the distinction then put off making the purchase for a couple of days and then reconsider if you actually need it. This cooling off period will often convince you that you can do without it and save you money.
In addition, savings can be made on your shopping by simply swapping big name brands for supermarket own varieties, using discount coupons and looking for any special offers.
Overall, it is important to be fully focussed and committed to your budget plan and to be aware that a change in finances may require a change in lifestyle. But a few short term changes may well add up to better finances in the long term.
Article written by Les Roberts, budget reporter at Moneysupermarket.com.
