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Shaving for Real

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When you look at a safety razor, you see the mostly-unguarded blade. When you look in the mirror, you see your throat and you see this blade–by definition, razor-sharp–and you realize that you are about to put a knife to your own throat. Why?

Because shaving sucks.

For my 18th birthday, I received 2 Mach3 razors. I used them for more than 10 years. It certainly beat disposable Bics, but not by much.

I liked it, but only because I didn’t have anything good to compare it to.

I’ve start using an old-fashioned safety razor. Now, I can shave smoother and with less irritation than I ever could with a modern razor and it only takes a few extra minutes.

Why would you want to abandon modern technology to put a blade against your jugular?

Modernization isn’t always an improvement. There is something about reaching back in time a couple of generations and doing things, not only the way they used to be done, but the way they should be done. It’s the same feeling I get handling an old rifle or sitting in an antique car.

A real shave is 15 minutes of peace and focus. Lock the kids out of the bathroom and focus on the task at hand. The concentration will usually give you a chance to forget about the rest of the world for just a few minutes. This is pure meditation.

As a benefit, when you’re done, you feel refreshed and well-groomed. It feels good to take care of yourself.

What do you need to shave like a real man?

Start slow and ease your way into it. Put a cup in the bathroom. If you shave with a modern razor, the easiest way to improve your shave is to use hot water. Put your shaving cream in the cup and add a bit of hot water. Mix that up and use it to shave. The hot foam will do wonders for your skin and the closeness of your shave. I did that and immediately start trolling antique stores looking for a good, cheap shaving brush.

A brush makes applying your shaving cream a small pleasure. Spreading the hot foam on your face with a brush gets in on all sides of each hair, softening it for the razor. Ideally, you want a badger-hair brush, but I’ve been perfectly happy with boar hair. I found one at an antique store for $5.

Shortly after acquiring my antique shaving brush, I decided to go even older-school and upgraded to an old-fashioned safety razor. I took my life, and my life-blood, in my own hands to shave for real. I went with a Merkur 23C Long Handle Safety Razor. It’s a basic razor with a longer handle, because I have large hands and long fingers. Don’t worry about getting an adjustable razor. There’s no point. It cost $29 at West Coast Shaving*.

You will need blades for the razor. West Coast Shaving sells a variety pack of 45 blades for $15. Try them all and stick with the one that works best for your facial hair. I tend to change blades every 4-5 shaves. More than that, and they get a bit dull and make me bleed. I try to avoid bleeding.

Now that you’ve got a brush, a razor, and blades, it’s time to get rid of the worthless can of shaving foam. Shaving soap works much better. You can get 3 discs of Col. Conk’s soap for $15, and they will last 6 months each, easily. They are almost exactly the same diameter as a regular coffee cup, so guess what? Just drop it in your cup.

That’s everything you need to shave for just $65, and of that only the blades and soap are recurring costs. Your razor and brush will last forever. I figure it costs me about $1 per month to shave, now.

How do you avoid killing yourself while getting ready for work?

It’s all a matter of technique.

Dampen your cheeks with hot water to soften the hair. I prefer to shave immediately after I shower.
Run hot water over your brush. Get it thoroughly soaked, then shake off the excess water. You want it hot and wet, but not dripping.
Briskly brush the soap disk until the brush picks up as much soap as it can. It may or may not form a lather in the cup.
Put the brush on your face and whisk it around. I use a quick circular motion to build up a lather on my cheeks. This works the hot soap into each hair. Keep brushing it onto your face until it forms peaks.
Pick up your razor. I run it under some hot water, just so the cold metal isn’t a shock after the hot foam. From here, you need your full attention on what you are doing.
Shave.

When you are shaving there are a few things to keep in mind.

Take your time.
Never, ever, ever, ever turn the blade while it is in contact with your face. You will bleed. Once the blade touches your face, it goes in a straight line.
Keep the edge of the blade as close to parallel with your face as possible.
The goal is hair reduction, not removal.

I make 4 passes when I shave. First, I shave from the top down. Next, from the back towards my nose and mouth. Then, from the front to the back. Finally, I shave against the grain from the bottom to the top. This results in a closer shave than anything I’ve ever had with a modern razor.

When I think I’m done, I dip my fingers in some warm water and run them around my face, in all possible directions, to see if I missed a spot.

When the hair is gone, wipe of the remaining cream and splash cold water every place the razor touched. This closes the pores and will help prevent infections and razor bumps.

The last step is aftershave. Aftershave disinfects your face. It also prevents infections and makes you stink nice.

There you have it: the secret to a baby-butt-smooth shave and 10-20 minutes of masculine meditation. If you are looking for a present for someone, you could do a lot worse than a real razor set.

*I have absolutely no affiliation with WCS. I am just very happy with the service and the product.

Living the XBox Life on an Atari Income

Finance

: Image via Wikipedia

At some point, everyone has “champagne wishes and caviar dreams.” Over the last 25 years, we’ve even been peddled the “you can have it all” myth from every direction, including the media and the government.

The truth is simple: you cannot have it all. You can have anything, but you can’t have everything. In order to have one thing, you have to give up something else. It’s a law of nature. If you have $5, you can either get a burger or an overpriced cup of coffee, but not both.

“But wait!” you shout, rudely interrupting the narrator, “I have a credit card. I can have both!”

Wrong.

And stop interrupting me.

If you have $5 and borrow $5 to get some coffee to go with your burger, you will eventually have to pay that money back with interest. You will have to give up a future-burger AND a flavor shot in your overpriced coffee.

Everything you buy needs to be paid for, some day.

If you have an Atari income, but insist on living the XBox life, you will wake up one day, buried in bills, forced to live the Commodore-64 life out of sheer desperation.

There is a solution.

Don’t get all XBox-y until you are making XBox money. That way, you’ll never have to worry about going broke tomorrow paying for the fun you had yesterday.

Even when you have an XBox income, ideally you’ll restrict yourself to living a Gamecube life, so you’ll be able to put some money aside to support future-you instead of constantly having to worry about your next paycheck.

Anchor Price Your Salary

Finance

: Image by Dalboz17 via Flickr

Conventional wisdom says that, when negotiating your salary or a raise, you should make whatever crazy ninja maneuvers it takes to get the other person to name a number first.

Horse pellets.

Have you ever watched an infomercial? Those masters of of impulse marketing geared towards insomniacs, invalids, and inebriates?

“How much would you pay for this fabulous meat tenderizer/eyelash waxer? $399? $299? No! If you call within the next 73 seconds, we will let you take this home for the low, low price of just $99.99!”

That’s the magic of anchor pricing.

The first number you hear is the number you will base all further numbers on. If you hear a high number, other lower numbers will feel much lower by comparison. The number doesn’t even have to be about money.

There was a study done that had the subjects compare a price to the last two digits of their social security numbers. Those with higher digits found higher prices to be acceptable, while those with lower prices only accepted cheaper prices.

What does an infomercial marketing ploy have to do with your salary?

If you are negotiating your salary and your potential employer gives a lowball offer, every higher counteroffer after that will much, much higher than than it would otherwise. On the other hand, if you start with your “perfect” salary, they amount you will be happy to settle for won’t seem to be nearly as high to the employer. At the same time, you will be less likely to accept a lowball offer if you set your anchor price high.

For example, if you are looking to make $50,000:

The employer offers you $40,000. $60,000 seems too high by comparison, so you counter with $50,000, then compromise and settler for $45,000. Or, you could start at $60,000, making the employer feel that $40,000 is too low, so he counters with $45,000, leaving a compromise at $52,000. That’s a hypothetical $7,000 boost, just for bucking conventional wisdom and taking a cue from the marketing industry.

How have you negotiated your salary?

Inadvertent BOGO

Finance

I refuse to buy my kid more expensive video game systems. He’s got a friend who’s got one of each, going back 15 years.

We don’t do that, so he’s spent the last 6 months saving to buy his own XBox 360. After his birthday this month, he finally had enough, so we ordered it a few days ago.

Wednesday was the Great Unboxing.

I was making dinner in the kitchen while the punk and his friend unpacked the box from Amazon.

The squeals were normal. The shouts of “Dad, why did you buy two XBoxes?” were a surprise.

Two?

No.

Actually, yes. There were two of the things in the box. Did I order two? Did I accidentally pay for two?

Nope. The packing slip only listed one, my order history only showed one, and my credit card was only charged for one.

Yet, there were two in the box. Free XBox! Woot!

That means an XBox in the bedroom for Grand Theft Auto and Red Dead Redemption, and an XBox in the basement for Madden and Star Wars. No fighting. No turns to take. And it didn’t cost us an extra $200.

That’s all win.

If there’s nothing on the packing slip, then Amazon didn’t know I had it. Even if they did, I didn’t do anything to make them send it. There was no fraud. Legally, I had no obligation of any kind to do anything other than enjoy my new prize.

Lots of win.

The kids were excited. Everyone gets a turn. Multiplayer games.

The parents were excited. We get a turn. M-rated games.

So much freaking win in that box.

But….

There’s always a but.

We didn’t order it. We didn’t pay for it. It wasn’t ours.

A friend told me to sell it. She knows how hard we’re working to pay off debt.

A coworker said, “Screw them. They’re just a big corporation who’d be happy to screw you first.”

But it wasn’t ours.

I spent 12 hours trying to rationalize a way to keep it that wouldn’t be unethical, make me feel guilty, or–most important–send a horrible message to my kids.

I couldn’t do it.

It wasn’t ours.

I had a talk with my son. It was his money that got this little prize into our house, after all. He wanted to keep it, naturally. He’s got a lot to learn about persuasion. He acknowledged that sending it back was the right thing to do. He agreed that it would suck if the roles were reversed. His only argument in favor of keeping it was “I want it.”

Even he admitted that was completely lame.

It’s going back. I let him think that was his decision.

I talked to Amazon. They apologized for the inconvenience and gave me a UPS label to send it back at no cost. It didn’t cover pickup, but I’ve got a drop box in my office building, so I can deal with that.

My wife was pissed. The customer service rep never bothered to say thank you. She called Amazon to complain to a manager. After reminding him that we had no duty to return the free XBox, he gave us a $25 gift card to say thank you.

I love my wife.

My son, for deciding to to the right thing, gets to spend the gift card. My wife, for being awesome, gets to be with me. I miss my free XBox.

What would you do? Would you keep the free XBox, sell it, or send it back?

UFC: Salary or Prize Purse

Business

Ultimate Fighting Championship (Photo credit: ATempletonPhoto.com)

A gig in the UFC must be pretty lucrative, right? I mean, look at the top UFC earner Chuck Liddell. His lifetime total pay-per-view career bonus earnings since is estimated at over $4.3 million. Tito Ortiz isn’t far behind with just over $4 million. And what do the lower ranking fighters earn? Two thirds of them are estimated to make less than $100,000 per year. That’s gross salary. Take out insurance, taxes, equipment, and license fees and the payout isn’t as sweet at the bottom. Some office drones take home more money than UFC fighters do. And those drones don’t have anything close to the job hazards associated with the UFC.

So what gives? Why the huge discrepancy? They all get the shit kicked out of them at one time or another, right? MMA in general, UFC in particular, has been criticized for paying athletes much lower salaries than similar sports like boxing. The controversy led UFC President Dana White to defend the salary structure of UFC, in part saying that no one knows exactly how much top fighters earn because the fighters don’t want anyone to know how much they earn. He went on to say that the UFC pay structure “smokes” boxing’s pay structure, yet gives little insight into such insight.

So what do the fighters make? President White jumps around the issue in a Fox 11 Sports Interview from September 2012. While he insists that there’s a guaranteed amount, he dances around the question, insisting that “the guys get paid a lot more money than what you’re seeing on things.” He admits that bonuses and incentives make up part of the pay structure. Obviously the amount of the prize money correlates directly with the hype surrounding the fight.

How much? Well, not all bonuses are made public. In fact, the athletic commissions didn’t even release prize purse information until 2004, so it’s impossible to account for UFC 45 back. And currently the only prize purse amounts that are released are Fight of the Night, Knockout of the Night, and Submission of the Night. The rest of the bonuses beyond that, including sponsorship money, pay-per-view cuts, and other “locker room” bonuses aren’t even publicly reported. But new UFC rules require sponsors to pay the UFC for the right to provide sponsorship for fighters, a stipulation that leaves less money that goes directly to the fighter.

Dana White says that the fighters are free to share their income figures if they like; their contracts do not gag them from releasing the amounts. Yet it’s difficult to pin down the exact amount the UFC grosses each year from ticket sales, pay-per-views, merchandising, DVD sales, and video games. Fighters like Jon Fitch and Tim Kennedy have publicly spoken out against UFC’s pay schedules. In fact, Kennedy stated that emptying trash cans pays better than the UFC. It’s further proof that it’s all about the purse.

All About Tax-Sheltered Annuity Plans

Finance

This is a guest post.

If you’ve previously heard of tax-sheltered annuity plans but are unsure of what they are, let this guide help you. Here’s what you need to know about tax-sheltered annuity plans.

What is it?

First things first, what are tax-sheltered annuity plans? A tax-sheltered annuity plan, or a 403(b) plan, is a retirement plan for some employees of various institutions to participate. This plan allows employees to contribute a portion of their salary to the plan. The employer may also contribute to the employee’s plan.

Who is Eligible?

Eligible Code Section 501(c)(3) employees tax-exempt organizations may participate, an employee of a public school, a state college, or a university, and eligible employees of churches. Employees of public school systems organized by Indian tribal governments, Ministers employed by Code Section (501)(c)(3) organizations, and self-employed ministers may also participate. Ministers must be employed by organizations that are not Code Section 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations, and they must function as ministers in their day-to-day professional responsibilities with their employers.

What are the Benefits of a 403(b) plan?

In a 403(b) plan, contributions are tax deductible. Taxes are paid on distributions in retirement, which is when a lot of people are in a lower tax bracket. As mentioned earlier, employers can match 403(b) contributions on a pretax basis. Loans can be taken against a 403(b) plan, which will help in certain situations, like buying your first home.

What types of contributions can be made?

In a 403(b) plan, you can have several types of contributions:

Elective Deferrals – These are contributions made by the employee under a salary reduction agreement. This allows an employer to withhold a certain amount of money from an employee’s salary to deposit it in their 403(b) account.
Nonelective Employer Contributions – These are any contributions to the 403(b) plan that were not made under a salary reduction agreement, which include matching contributions, discretionary contributions, and certain mandatory contributions that were made by the employer. The employee will pay income tax on all of these contributions, but only when they’re withdrawn.
After-Tax Contributions – These are contributions made by an employee, which are reported as compensation in the year they were contributed and are included in the employee’s gross income for income tax purposes.
Designated Roth contributions – These are elective deferrals that the employees elects to include in their gross income. The plan must keep separate accounting records for all contributions and for all gains and losses in the designated Roth account.

Can Employees Exclude Employees From Contributing?

Absolutely. The 403(b) plan must allow allow employees to make elective deferrals under the plan, but under the universal availability rule, if the employer permits one employee to defer salary by contributing it to a 403(b) plan, they must extend the offer to all of their employees. The only exceptions are employees who would contribute less than $200 annually, those employees who work less than 20 hours a week, employees who participate in a 401(k) or 457(b) plan, or students performing services that are described in Code Section 3121(b)(10).

So When Can Employees Get the Dollars?

Employees may withdraw from the 403(b) plan when the reach the age of 59 and a half, have a severance from employment, have a financial hardship, or become disabled. Money can also be taken out if an employee passes away. The employee will have to pay taxes on the amount of the distribution that was not from designated Roth or after-tax contributions, and they may have to pay an additional ten percent early distribution tax.

Are There Rules for In-Service Transfers or Exchanges?

Yes. Contract exchanges with a non-payroll slot vendor are permitted only if the plan permits it, the accumulated benefit after the exchange is, at the very least, the same as before the exchange, if the employer and the non-payroll slot vendor agree to share information regarding the plan’s terms, if any pre-exchange benefit restrictions are maintained after the exchange, and if the vendor complies with the terms outlined in the plan.

How Much Can be Contributed Annually? Does the Employee Have to be Current?

As of 2013, the maximum combined amount that an employer and an employee can contribute to a 403(b) plan is $51,000. That number may go up, depending on the annual cost-of-living.

If the plan allows, an employer can contribute up to the annual limits for an employee’s account for up to five years after the date of severance. No portion of the contributions can come from money that was due to be paid to the former employee, and these contributions must cease if the employee passes away.

There’s much more to learn about a 403(b) plan, but these are the basics. Does your company have a 403(b) plan?

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Related articles

What is it?

Who is Eligible?

What are the Benefits of a 403(b) plan?

What types of contributions can be made?

Can Employees Exclude Employees From Contributing?

So When Can Employees Get the Dollars?

Are There Rules for In-Service Transfers or Exchanges?

How Much Can be Contributed Annually? Does the Employee Have to be Current?