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How to Live Happily Without a Budget
Three years ago, we sat down and built our budget. We spent 9 months adding the non-monthly bills that we forgot about when we created the budget. Setbacks and shortfalls almost killed the budgeting plan completely. It took almost an entire year to get our budget right.
Unrelated ImageNow? I refer to the budget once per month. No more. I don’t check it at bill-paying time. I don’t think about it daily. It’s there as a reference when I need it, but it no longer drives our finances. How did we get to that point?
First, we firmly established our budget. We know exactly what we need to cover our expenses. None of the predictable bills catch us by surprise any more. This is important.
Once we had the budget established, the rest was easy. I moved almost every bill to US Bank’s online bill-pay system and switched to electronic billing and automatic payments. The automatic payments are all through US Bank. I only allow my mortgage to be set up with the merchant. I want total, instant control over the rest. I won’t call a merchant to ask them to change a payment if something comes up. The bank sends me an email when a payment is automatically scheduled, and again when it is paid.
Once I got comfortable with the automatic payments, I switched to electronic billing. I don’t need to see the bill or waste the paper if I know it is being handled for me which is why I encourage you to manage all your finances online. I do check the few bills that may change, like the credit card and cell phone. Now, I see few of my bills. They are all sent electronically to my bank, automatically paid, and scheduled in Quicken–all without intervention from me.
[ad name=”inlineleft”]We also use an envelope system. I know how much we need for groceries, baby crap, clothes, etc. At the beginning of the month, I take out all of that money in cash and put it into the appropriate envelopes. Other than this money, almost everything else takes care of itself. I don’t need to pay attention to by bills on a day-t0-day basis. Any extra money that comes in gets divided among our debt repayment and savings goals, which only takes a few minutes to arrange.
I glance over my budget at the beginning of every month, but I only review it when something changes. If we change our cell phone, or our budgeted gas bill changes, I make the change to our budget. Other than that, it’s not even an afterthought.
That’s how we do it.
Another option includes the Sloppy Math System. This consists simply of rounding deposits down and rounding expenses up. The more you round, the better the system works. If you round every deposit down $50, and round every expense up to the next $10, you are naturally building more room for error. Given enough time, you will have enough of a slush fund to handle emergencies and the occasional impulse purchase.
3 Reasons You Hate Your Budget
- Image via Wikipedia
One of the first steps in clearing up your financial mess is to set up a budget. You need to figure out how much money you are making, how much you are spending, and what you can do to keep one of those numbers smaller than the other. If your income is smaller than your expenses, you’ve got work to do. If not, yay!
Even if you don’t obsessively cling to your spreadsheets and calculator, you need to spend the time to establish a budget–at least once–to know where you stand. When you do, you’ll find out it sucks. With good reason.
1. It takes too long to set up. Setting up a budget can be a long, drawn-out pain in the butt. Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be, but you won’t know that until after you make your first budget, then see some fairly drastic changes, and make a second budget. That one will be easier. For the first one, just concentrate on making a list of all of you regular bills and how often they are due. Don’t be surprised when you miss some. I missed a couple of our quarterly bills. All told, it took a year to get our budget completely done.
2. It doesn’t lie. Once you have all of your expenses down on paper, you are done hiding. You can’t tell yourself it’s all puppy dogs and ice cream when you are staring at the giant red pit that is the negative balance of your bad decisions. Nobody likes the messenger who brings bad news. When your budget shows you how big the hole is, you are going to hate it. That’s when it’s time to confront the problem head on and get out of the hole. Find the problems and rip ’em out. Cancel the cable, taxidermize the cats, and start buying generic underpants. It’s time to take an honest look at your situation. If you can’t handle where you are, how are you going to get where you want to be?
3. It’s not fun. When your friends go out, but you stay home because you’re broke, you will hate it. Y’ou’re also gonna hate comparing your old cell phone to the iPhone in the hands of the d-bag contemplating bankruptcy. Like Dave Ramsey says, “Live like no one else, so that later you can live like no one else.” Skipping some of the fun now will turn into security later. When you get to that point, it will have all been worth it.
Why do you hate your budget?
Charity is Selfish
I try to give 10% of my income to charity. I don’t succeed every year, but I do try.
I don’t give because I’m generous. I give because I’m selfish.
If you give to charity, you are too.
I’m not talking about people who give to charity strictly for the tax deduction, though that is selfish too. I’m referring specifically to the people who give to charity out of the goodness of their hearts.
If I give a thousand dollars worth of clothes to a homeless shelter, I get a warm fuzzy feeling knowing that I helped people stay warm.
If I send $100 to the Red Cross for whatever terrible disaster happened shortly before I made the donation, it makes me feel good to have contributed to saving those lives.
The put-the-inner-city-kids-on-a-horse thing we do? Makes me happy to get those kids into a positive situation.
Donating blood? Yay, me! I’m saving lives!
While it’s nice to help other people, that’s not the ultimate reason I’m doing it. I do it because it makes me feel good about myself to help other people, particularly people who–for whatever reason–can’t help themselves.
That’s the basis of altruism. It’s not about helping others, it’s about feeling good about helping others.
The truly selfish, the evil dogooders, are the ones who want to raise taxes to give it away as “charity”. They get to feel like they are doing something and helping others while not actually contributing themselves and, at the same time, stealing that warm fuzzy feeling from the people who are providing the money to start with.
Evil.
Charity has to be done at a personal, local level or the benefits to the giver are eliminated while the benefits to the receiver are lessened. Bureaucracy doesn’t create efficiency.
For the record, if it’s taken by force, by tax, it isn’t charity. Charity cannot be forced. Forcing charity is, at best, a fraudulent way for petty politicians, bureaucrats, lobbyists, and activists to feel they have power over others.
Again, evil.
What Happens When You Save
- Image via Wikipedia
I’m a debtor.
I’d like that to be otherwise, but I’m pretty close to the limit of what I can do to change that. Don’t get me wrong, it’s changing, but there is a limit to how many side projects I can take on at one time. So, I’m in debt and likely to stay that way for the next couple of years.
As part of my budget, I set up a few categories of items that are either necessities or “really wants” without being immediate expenses. For example, I’m setting aside some money each month for car repairs, even though my car isn’t currently broken. When it comes time to fix something, I hope to have the money available to fix it, without having to scramble or <spit> tap into my emergency fund.
All told, I have about a dozen of these categories set up, each as a separate INGDirect savings account. Twice a month, a few hundred dollars gets transferred over and divided among the savings goals. Most of these goals are short-term; they will be spent within the year, like the account for my property taxes. Some of them are open-ended, like my car repair fund. Some are open ended, but will eventually end, like the fund to finance my son’s braces. All of the accounts are slowly growing.
As I’ve watched the progress of my savings accounts, I’ve noticed something funny.
My confidence is up.
It may only be a few thousand dollars, but it’s more money than I have ever had saved. The vast majority of this money will be spent over the next few years, but having it there, now means that I have tomorrow covered. For the first time in my life, I’m not living paycheck to paycheck. No matter what happens, I know I can make ends meet for a couple of months. That fact alone has reduced my stress level more than I could have imagined.
Two years ago, I was sure I was going to file bankruptcy. Now, I’m looking at being just two years away from having all of my debt gone. I have faith that my future will be bright, and only getting brighter. If I can dig myself out of this hole once, I can do it again, no matter what happens.
This has brought a calm that I can’t easily explain. I don’t have to worry about where next week’s groceries are going to come from, or how we’re going to afford braces in a couple of years.
Having an emergency fund and some auxiliary funds has been entirely worth the work we’ve done for last two years. Have you noticed any changes as you pay off your debt and build savings?
Negotiating Superstar
Recently my son asked me for some money.
This isn’t rare.
He asks me for money on a regular basis. He’s kind of greedy some days.
This time, however, he asked what he can do to earn some money. Now, since I live in Minnesota and have the dog and we had the sixth snowiest winter ever this year, all my dogs little shoe-bombs have been buried for the last six months. It started snowing in early November and as of this writing, on March 25, I still see two inches of snow covering every thing. Last week, we had a thaw and got to see the grass. We also got to see the dog’s business all over the yard.
I told him that I would give him $10 to clean up the yard. He asked if a friend could help. I said yes. Then he asked if they would have to split the money or if I would be paying them $10 each. I said that I’d be getting the same amount of work done, so they should split the $10.
He didn’t like the plan, so he negotiated his way up to getting seven dollars each. Originally, I was planning to pay $20, but got talked down by a friend. I’d still be willing to pay $20. What I’m trying to do is encourage him to start negotiating. I am a lousy negotiator. I want my kids to have better financial skills than I do. I want them to grow up knowing how to negotiate and being comfortable negotiating. That will make him a better financial adult.
So I encourage him. Sometimes I offer a lowball number and if he gets so upset walks away I ask him why he didn’t give a counter-offer. If he just accepts a number that’s way too low, or if his grandma offers him a shiny nickel to mow her yard, I tell him no. I tell him to reject it and offer something that he feels is more in line with what he would actually be doing.
Now, if I’m going to keep up these lessons I need to work on my negotiating skills too, so this is also a self-improvement game.
How do you teach a kid to negotiate? What resources are out there to teach yourself?
