Search Results for “debt-burnout/how-much-should-you-tip/subscribe-by-email/INGDirect/Clearing Up Social Debt in 3 Steps/contact-me” — Page 5

First Steps – Ramsey was Wrong

Baby Steps” width=”180″ height=”240″ />: Image by bonnie-brown via Flickr

Fixing a lifetime of financial mistakes can be an intimidating process. Scratch that. It’s always an intimidating process. Where do you start? You’ve got a pile of bills, a dozen messages from bill collectors and two bi-weekly paystubs. What next?

Traditionally, and according to Dave Ramsey, the first step to fixing your finances is to make a budget, but he and tradition are wrong. The first step is to get everybody involved in your finances on the same page. If your spouse isn’t on board with paying off the debt and spending responsibly, nothing else will work.

Once you have that out of the way, you can move on to the traditional first step, making a budget. I’ve gone over my process to build a personal financial plan in quite a bit of detail, so I’ll just hit the highlights this time.

First, make a list of all of your expenses. Include all of your utilities, debt payments, tax payments and absolutely everything else. You need to know the amount of the payment and the frequency. If a bill is due quarterly, divide it by three and you’ll know what you need to set aside each month. Round up in all cases so you can build an automatic cushion.

Next, make a list of your income sources. For most people, this is far easier than tracking their expenses. Figure out your monthly income. If you get paid weekly, that that amount times 52, then divide by 12 to get your monthly income.

Finally, subtract your expenses from your income. If your total is a positive number then you are golden. If you total is negative, you have been a bad monkey. You need to make some cuts, and they may be painful. If your outgoing money is more than your incoming money, it is not possible to get ahead.

Once you have your income and expenses recorded, and you have made the cuts necessary to have a positive balance at the end of the month, you have a successful budget. Congratulations!

Sunday Roundup: Reddit Rocks

Misc

Friday was my biggest traffic day, ever. Mike‘s guest post, Brown Bagging Your Way to Savings, went slightly nuts on reddit. For a few hours, it was in the top 10 on the front page, generating more traffic every half hour than I normally see in a day. That was fun.

In other news, my kid is in the #2 slot for wrestling the heavyweight slot on his wrestling team.

30 Day Project Update

This month, I am trying to establish the Slow Carb Diet as a habit. At the end of the month, I’ll see what the results were and decide if it’s worth continuing. For those who don’t know, the Slow Carb Diet involves cutting out potatoes, rice, flour, sugar, and dairy in all their forms. My meals consist of 40% proteins, 30% vegetables, and 30% legumes(beans or lentils). There is no calorie counting, just some specific rules, accompanied by a timed supplement regimen and some timed exercises to manipulate my metabolism. The supplements are NOT effedrin-based diet pills, or, in fact, uppers of any kind. There is also a weekly cheat day, to cut the impulse to cheat and to avoid letting my body go into famine mode.

I’m measuring two metrics, my weight and the total inches of my waist , hips, biceps, and thighs. Between the two, I should have an accurate assessment of my progress.

Weight: I have lost 25 pounds since January 2nd. That’s 3 pounds since last week. 17 more to meet my goal for February.

Total Inches: I have lost 14 inches in the same time frame, down 2.5 since last week.

Best Posts

J. Money has launched an awesome new project called Love Drop. Once a month, they go make a huge difference in someone’s life. Wise Bread interviewed them yesterday.

Tip: Use the word “solved” in a google search to find the answers to tech problems.

If OMG and Awesome got drunk and made a baby with Optimus Prime, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Cobra Commander’s nastiest fantasies, the offspring wouldn’t be this good. Holy crap. Major cheese alert.

Q. Why do some business lobby hard for excessive regulation in the name of protecting the environment or forcing people into decisions they disagree with, only to turn around and lobby for waivers to those regulations once they are passed? A. Because it’s not about the environment or health or giving-a-crap. It’s about the money. When an established company pushes for regulations, it’s to keep upstarts from entering the market. Regulations add barriers to entry. Anybody who’s trying to force you to do something for your own good has a product to sell to meet that “need”.

LRN Timewarp

This is where I review the posts I wrote a year ago. Did you miss them then?

Have you ever given any thought to the idea that debt is a social disease? It’s taboo, you usually didn’t do anything nice to get it, and it’s hard to get rid of.

In case I haven’t made it obnoxiously clear, I’m more than a bit of a geek. The post I wrote about D&D and personal finance should make it more obvious.

Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled

Medical Costs and Choices was included in the Festival of Frugality.

How to Save Money On Anything was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

Mike from http://savingmoneytoday.net presented Brown Bagging Your Way to Savings, which is the post that went kinda nuts on reddit. He also hosted my post, Resisting Temptation.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.

Get More Out of Live Real, Now

There are so many ways you can read and interact with this site.

You can subscribe by RSS and get the posts in your favorite news reader. I prefer Google Reader.

You can subscribe by email and get, not only the posts delivered to your inbox, but occasional giveaways and tidbits not available elsewhere.

You can ‘Like’ LRN on Facebook. Facebook gets more use than Google. It can’t hurt to see what you want where you want.

You can follow LRN on Twitter. This comes with some nearly-instant interaction.

You can send me an email, telling me what you liked, what you didn’t like, or what you’d like to see more(or less) of. I promise to reply to any email that isn’t purely spam.

Have a great weekend!

Sunday Roundup – Nook Failure

Misc

This week, I spent more than 2 hours, 20 emails, and 30 miles trying to convince UPS and Barnes & Noble to get me a Nook that I paid for 3 weeks ago. Hopefully, I’ll have it early this week. If not, I’m giving up. The only other action I’m willing to take to get this resolved is to call my credit card company and file a chargeback.

Fun!

Weight Loss Update

I am on the Slow Carb Diet. At the end of the month, I’ll see what the results were and decide if it’s worth continuing. For those who don’t know, the Slow Carb Diet involves cutting out potatoes, rice, flour, sugar, and dairy in all their forms. My meals consist of 40% proteins, 30% vegetables, and 30% legumes(beans or lentils). There is no calorie counting, just some specific rules, accompanied by a timed supplement regimen and some timed exercises to manipulate my metabolism. The supplements are NOT effedrin-based diet pills, or, in fact, uppers of any kind. There is also a weekly cheat day, to cut the impulse to cheat and to avoid letting my body go into famine mode.

I’m measuring two metrics, my weight and the total inches of my waist , hips, biceps, and thighs. Between the two, I should have an accurate assessment of my progress.

Weight: I have lost 41 pounds since January 2nd. That’s no progress since last week. I’m still doing push-ups every day, so it’s not surprising that I’m flunking weight loss.

Total Inches: I have lost 22.5 inches in the same time frame, up half an inch since last week.

Best Posts

Five Cent Nickel had a post on tipping. I always tip, but I don’t consider 15% to be a requirement. If the service sucks, I tip just a few cents. If the service is great, I easily and always clear 20%. A friend tried telling me that servers expect 20% to be standard, but that’s nuts. They aren’t the people who get to make that decision.

Money Crashers talked about traveling for free. In anticipation of the Financial Blogger Conference in October, I opened a travel rewards card. I’m hoping to make the trip for free.

I watched a TedTalk yesterday about teaching kids about electricity with homemade play-dough. This is a project that will be happening.

Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled

Narrow Bridge Finance ran my post, Monsters, while I ran his, Living the High Life, for the Yakezie blog swap, answering the question “What motivates you financially?”

Negotiating Superstar was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

5 Ways to Change Your Spending Habits was included in the Totally Money Blog Carnival.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.

Get More Out of Live Real, Now

There are so many ways you can read and interact with this site.

You can subscribe by RSS and get the posts in your favorite news reader. I prefer Google Reader.

You can subscribe by email and get, not only the posts delivered to your inbox, but occasional giveaways and tidbits not available elsewhere.

You can ‘Like’ LRN on Facebook. Facebook gets more use than Google. It can’t hurt to see what you want where you want.

You can follow LRN on Twitter. This comes with some nearly-instant interaction.

You can send me an email, telling me what you liked, what you didn’t like, or what you’d like to see more(or less) of. I promise to reply to any email that isn’t purely spam.

Have a great week!

Save Your Family

Finance, Life, Parenting

I don’t attach much importance to dreams. They are just there to make sleepy-time less boring. Last night, I had a dream where I spent most of my time trying to prepare my wife to run our finances before telling my son that I wouldn’t be around to watch him grow up. That’s an unpleasant thought to wake up with. Lying there, trying to digest this dream, I started thinking about the transition from “I deal with the bills” to “I’m not there to deal with it”. We aren’t prepared for that transition. Last year, we started putting together our “In case of death” file, but that project fell short. The highest priorities are done. We have wills and health directives, but how would my wife pay the bills? Everything is electronic. Does she know how to log in to the bank’s billpay system? Which bills are only in my name, and will go away if I die? Is there a list of our life insurance policies?

I checked the incomplete file that contains this information. It hasn’t been updated since September. It’s time to get that finished. Procrastinating is inappropriate and denial is futile. Here’s a news flash: You are going to die. Hopefully, it won’t happen soon, but it will happen. Is your family prepared for that?

The questions are “What do I need?” and “What do I have?”

First and foremost, you need a will. If you have children and do not have a will, take a moment–right now– to slap yourself. A judge is not the best person to determine where your children should go if you die. The rest of it is minor, if you’re married. Let your next-of-kin, your spouse keep it. I don’t care. Just take care of your kids! Set up a trust to pay for the care of your children. Their new guardians will appreciate it. How hard is it to set up? I use Quicken Willmaker and have been very pleased. Of course, the true test is in probate court, and I won’t be there for it. If you are more comfortable getting an attorney, then do so. I’ve done it each way. You can cut some costs by using Willmaker, then taking it to an attorney for review.

It’s a sad fact that often, before you die, you spend some time dying. Do you have a health care directive? Does your family know, in writing, if and when you want the plug pulled? Who gets to make that decision? Have you set up a medical power of attorney, so someone can make medical decisions on your behalf if you aren’t able? Do you want, and if so, do you have a Do-Not-Resuscitate order? Willmaker will handle all of this, too.

What’s going to happen to your bank accounts? I’m personally a fan of keeping both of our names on all of our accounts. I share my life and my heart, I’d better be able to trust her with our money. If that’s not an option, for whatever reason, fill out the “Payable on Death” information for your accounts, establishing a beneficiary who can get access to your money if you die. Do you want your spouse to lose the house or the car if you die? Should your kids have to miss meals? Make sure necessary access to your money exists.

Does anybody know what you have for life insurance? Get a copy of the policy and make sure your spouse and someone else knows what company holds it and how much it is worth.

Now, it’s time to make some lists. You need to gather account numbers and contact information for everything.

Bank accounts. List every bank and account you own. Checking, savings, CDs.
Investment accounts. Again, every company, every account.
Mortgage and car payment information.
Life insurance. Get your policy numbers, contact information, beneficiaries, and amount of coverage all in one place.
Credit card accounts. Every card, every company. If it’s just your name on the account, your spouse will need to send certified death certificates to stop collections. Otherwise, she’ll need to pay the bills.
Utilities. Get the account number for the electric bill, the gas bill, water/sewer/garbage, cable and phones.
Other bills. These include car/home insurance, Netflix, memberships and anything else you pay.
I’ve included the account information for my web host, registrars and websites. Some of it is salable, some of it is income-generating.
Car titles. Put the actual titles in the pile of lists.
Property deeds. Keep these here, too.

Non-financial information to list:

Online accounts. Any financial sites that would be useful, or any community sites you would like to have informed about your death. Your online presence is a part of who you are.
Email accounts. Will your survivors need to interact with anybody potentially contacting you? They will need your username and password, or most big providers won’t let them in.
Social media. How many networks do you participate in? Do you want to disappear, or should all of your Facebook friends know your dead?
Blogs. Do you have a blog that needs an announcement? Does it generate income? Could it be sold?
Contact list. Who else needs to be informed of your demise? Don’t make your loved ones hunt for the information.

Now, take all of this information and put it in a nice, fat envelope and lock it in the fireproof safe you have bolted to the floor. Make a copy and give it to someone you trust absolutely. Make sure someone knows the combination to the safe or where to find the key.

Your loved ones will appreciate it.

Debt Scams

Finance

When you are up to your eyeballs in debt, praying for a step-stool, sometimes life–more accurately, con-artists–try to trip you when you are vulnerable and look for a solution. They aren’t muggers on the street. They come at you wearing ties, invite you to a real office, with real furniture and a real nameplate on a real desk. They are a real company, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t trying to scam you out of the little money you have left to put towards your debt.

Yes, I am talking about debt management scams. These scams come in 4 main varieties.

Debt Settlement companies instruct you to stop paying your bills completely and send them the money instead to be placed in a settlement fund. When your creditors get desperate enough, they will be willing to settle for pennies on the dollar.

In theory, this can be a good strategy for some debtors. Unfortunately, it has some drawbacks, even if the company is legitimate. They tend to charge high fees as a percentage of your deposits. Some take another fee when a settlement is accepted. The entire time you are building your settlement fund, your credit rating is sinking, leaving you open to being sued or garnished. The bad companies take the fund and run, while even the good companies can’t guarantee your creditors will play ball.

Ultimately, they aren’t doing anything you can’t easily do yourself. If you want to go the settlement route, stop making your payments and funnel the money into a savings account that you will use to offer settlements from. It takes discipline, but there is no upside to paying someone else for the same function.

Debt Management plans are used when you owe more than you can afford to pay. These companies work with your creditors to adjust interest rates and minimum payments and they try to get some fees waived for you.

A good company will work with you and your creditors to make sure everyone is working together towards the goal of eliminating the debt. A bad company will tell you they are working with your creditors while ignoring any contact from the creditor. They’ll tell you the creditor isn’t willing to negotiate while never stepping up to the negotiation table. Another trick is to offer the creditor a set payment, with a “take it or leave it” clause. Any input from the creditor is interpreted as a refusal to participate. This, coupled with high fees paid by the debtor, make debt management firms a risky proposition. Most states require the firms to be licensed. Check to make sure they are before giving them any information.

Debt/Credit Counseling companies work with you to establish a budget and eliminate expenses; in effect, they are training you to be in control of your finances. They are often organized as a nonprofit, but not always.

Some–the sleazy ones–lie about what they are doing, or attempt to misconstrue what you are agreeing too. Be careful not to use your home as collateral to consolidate unsecured debt and don’t walk into a Chapter 13 bankruptcy without that being your intention. Both of those are common debt counseling scams. If the company isn’t able to provide all of the details of a transaction–company name, address, licensing information–or they aren’t willing to spend as much time as necessary explaining the details of the transaction, walk away. This is your life, you are in charge of it. Don’t let anyone bully or prod you into signing something you aren’t comfortable with.

Credit Repair is almost always a scam. There are ways to get correct bad information removed from your credit report. If the information is correct, those methods are illegal. There are two legal methods to repair your credit. First, stop generating bad credit. Make your payments on time and eventually, the bad items will fall off. Second, write letters disputing the actual incorrect items on your credit report. There are no quick fixes, and anybody telling you different is flirting with a jail sentence, possibly yours.

How do you avoid the scammers?

Be skeptical. If it looks to good to be true, it probably is. There is no such thing as a magic wand to fix your credit and make your debt disappear. Bankruptcy + 10 years of your life is the closest thing to magic credit repair in this world.
Only use a legitimate credit counselor. Verify them through the Better Business Bureau and the National Foundation for Credit Counseling (1-800-388-2227 or www.nfcc.org)
Check the license. Most states require credit and debt counselors to be licensed. If they’re not, run away and report them.
Read the find print. Don’t sign anything you don’t understand. Like every other piece of your financial life, own the transaction. Know what your are doing, or don’t do it.
Are they willing to work with you? If they’ve got a generic plan that doesn’t account for your specific situation, they are probably a con. At the very least, they are a worthless company and a waste of both time and money.
Are they willing to work with your creditors? If not, they won’t be accomplishing anything for you.
How much do they cost? Higher fees may not be an indicator of a scam, but call around and find out if they are in the right ballpark. Triple or quadruple the going rate is a sign of someone who will disappear late one night, with your hopes, dreams and savings in tow.
Above all else, trust your gut. If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. There is nothing a counselor can do that can’t wait a few days while you check them out.

There is no magic bullet to kill debt. You’re not fighting a werewolf, you’re fighting a lifetime of bad or unfortunate choices and circumstances. It’s important to keep a realistic outcome in mind.

Update: This post has been included in the Carnival of Debt Reduction.

Toxic People

Business, Life

You should never be in the company of anyone with whom you would not want to die.

-Duncan Idaho, from God-Emperor of Dune

Some people suck the life out of everyone they encounter. Whether it be through lies, unreasonable demands, emotional abuse or manipulation, or just a vile personalty, the people they meet are worse off for the encounter. The people they interact with every day are screwed.

My time is too precious to waste any of it unnecessarily on people who remove value from it. I like being with people who enrich my life, instead.

Unfortunately, since I’m not an advocate for the use of hitmen, not every toxic person is easy to eliminate from your life.

Toxic people come in 3 basic varieties: professional, personal, and family. There is some overlap between the categories.

The personal category is easiest to deal with. These people aren’t relatives or coworkers, so you won’t see them at family gatherings or at work. I’ve dealt with these people in two ways.

First, there is the direct approach. One former friend, who was really only a friend when it was convenient for him(a pure leech), got told that he wasn’t invited to one of our parties because I was inviting his ex-wife, instead. That was the last time he called me.

The second option is far more passive. I set up a contact group in my phone called “Life’s too short”. At first, I set it up with a fairly insulting ring tone, but I later switched it to no ring at all. I don’t know they’ve called until I check my voicemail. It’s far less direct, but also far easier than the direct approach.

Dealing with the toxic people in your family is more complicated. You’ll see them at holiday gatherings, or hear about them during unrelated visits. You probably have a lot of memories growing up with them, and may feel some level of obligation–deserved or not–to maintain contact. It’s hard to break a tie that you’ve had your entire life.

Can you fix their behavior? It’s worth trying to have a frank discussion about how they are treating you, or the things they are doing. If the problem is that they are constantly bringing over their methhead boyfriends, banning the drug addicts from your home, while still welcoming the relative may be an acceptable fix. If the problem is a constant need to belittle you, demanding they stop may work. If the problem is a lifetime of emotional abuse, it probably isn’t fixable.

Is banishment an option? Can you put that creepy cousin on the Life’s Too Short list? You’ll still have to deal with him at family gatherings, but you can always leave the room when he comes in, right? Don’t engage, don’t participate in any conversation beyond a polite greeting, and don’t offer any encouragement towards regular contact.

It’s possible that it won’t be possible to fix their behavior and that you won’t want to banish the offender. If, for example, the offender is your mother (Not you, Mom!), you may feel a sense of obligation to maintain contact, or even be a primary caregiver at times. This is a line nobody else can draw for you. At some point, the current bad behavior could overwhelm the past obligations. When that happens are you prepared for it? That can be a traumatic break.

The other option, as cold as it sounds, is to wait it out. Nature will take its course, eventually. Can you wait that long, while maintaining your sanity and emotional equilibrium?

Professional toxic people include customers, vendors, and coworkers, none of whom are easy to get rid of.

If you own the business, you can fire your problem customers if the hassle outweighs the benefits you get from the relationship. You can find a new vendor, and you can fire the problem employees.

What happens if you are an employee?

If the problem is your boss, your options are to suck it up, talk to his boss, or find a new job. If the first is intolerable, and the second is impossible, it’s time to polish your resume.

If the problem is a vendor, you’ve got some options. Document the problems, first. Does he make inappropriate jokes, or badmouth you to your customers? Then, research the alternatives. Does one of his competitors offer an equivalent product or service? Take the documentation and research to your boss, or whoever makes that decision, and see if you can get your company to make the switch. The other option, is to request someone new to deal with at the vendor’s company, but that may not always be possible.

Finally, we come to the problem of toxic coworkers.

Some coworkers have the same problems as a toxic boss. Is the company vice-president the boss’s baby brother? You’re probably not going to find a win there. You’ll have to suck it up or move on.

Is the problem person working in an unrelated department doing unrelated tasks? It may be possible to start taking breaks at different times and leave him where he belongs: in the past.

Is the difficult individual sharing an office with you, demanding everything be done his way, and throwing daily tantrums? This is the one that has to be dealt with. He’s the one sucking the life out of you every single day.

First, start making use of a voice recorder. If you’ve got a smartphone, you’ve probably already got one. Otherwise, drop the $20 to buy one. This lets you document the evil. When his behavior goes hinky, record it.

Second, stand up for yourself. If he’s making unreasonable demands, tell him it’s inappropriate. He’s a bully, and bullies tend to back down when they are confronted.

Third, make sure the boss knows about the behavior. Yes, this is tattling. Get over it. If he wasn’t acting like he was a spoiled 4 year old, you wouldn’t have to tell the boss that he was. If the boss doesn’t know there’s a problem, he can’t deal with it.

Fourth, for any problem that isn’t directly aimed at you, ignore it. If he makes a habit of throwing a tantrum because somebody emptied the coffee pot, or because the company switched health plans, let him. Only get in the way if it’s directed at you. Over time, the tantrums will get more noticeable and out of hand, forcing the boss to deal with it, preferably by handing him a pink slip.

Your goal is documentation, awareness, and avoidance. Make the worst of it go elsewhere so you can be as productive as possible, document what you can, and let the boss become aware of the situation and how bad it has become. And be patient. This isn’t an overnight fix.

How do you deal with the toxic people in your life?

Search Results for: debt-burnout/how-much-should-you-tip/subscribe-by-email/INGDirect/Clearing Up Social Debt in 3 Steps/contact-me

30 Day Project Update

Best Posts

LRN Timewarp

Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled

Get More Out of Live Real, Now

Weight Loss Update

Best Posts

Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled

Get More Out of Live Real, Now