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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

One Year Later….

Misc

In April of 2009, I told my wife we were either going to straighten out our finances or file bankruptcy. At that time, we had $90,394 in total debt, including $30,000 in credit card debt. It hasn’t been easy, but we are working out way out of that hole. Since then, we have paid down more than $30,000. That’s not $30,000 in payments, but $30,000 less debt. We are now less than $60,000 in debt. We have entirely stopped accumulating more and I don’t remember the last time we carried a new balance on a card or had to use our overdraft protection. Next month, my car will be paid off, 10 months early.

Given my new-found fanaticism, I spent the next 6 months or so evangelizing about our debt repayment. Eventually, I decided to share my thoughts and progress with the world and launched this site on December 1, 2009. Today is my anniversary.

Here we are, 234 posts, 695 comments, and 17, 661 spam later. You all rock. Except the spammers.

To say thank you, I’m giving away a $100 Amazon gift card to some lucky reader. Yes, I rock, too.

There are several ways you can enter the drawing:

1. Subscribe to Live Real, Now, either by RSS or email. If you are already subscribed by email, you are automatically entered. To show me you have subscribed by RSS, there is a contest code in the feed. Just post that in the comments. (1 entry)

2. Follow me on twitter and tweet the following: “@LiveRealNow is giving away $100. Come get some! Follow and RT to enter! http://bit.ly/f1roKM #Giveaway #Yakezie” (1 entry possible per day. Every day you retweet this is another entry!)

3. “Like” LRN on Facebook. This is easy, just click the little ‘like’ button on the left. If you’ve already done that, you have already entered once.(1 entry)

4. Send me an email at Jason <AT> LiveRealNow <DOT> net telling me what you would like to see me write about more (or less!). You can also use the contact form. (1 entry)

I’m closing this down on the 15th. That’s 18 possible entries for $100 you may win early enough to help with some last-minute Christmas shopping.

UPDATE:

And the winner is…Claudia! Congratulations. Email sent.

Carnival Roundup

Misc

I spent this week in my home town with my family: my parents, brothers, sisters-in-law, nieces, nephews, kids, uncles, aunts, and some cousins from Tennessee that I don’t see often.

In the evenings, after the kids were put to bed, we played Cards Against Humanity: A Party Game For Horrible People.

If you are a horrible, dirty-minded person, with a sense of humor that would make your grandmother blush–and you have friends to match–get this game. Then play it where you can’t wake up the neighbors. Seriously, it’s more fun than a super soaker filled with cat pee.

Live Real, Now was included in the following carnivals recently:

Yakezie Carnival hosted by Write and Get Paid

Carnival of Money Pros hosted by I Am 1 Percent

Carnival of Financial Camaraderie #39 hosted by My University Money

Carnival of Retirement #26 hosted by Write and Get Paid

Totally Money Carnival #72 hosted by MammaSaver

Festival of Frugality #342 hosted by Help Me to Save

Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Simple Finance Blog

Carnival of Financial Camaraderie #38 hosted by My University Money

Yakezie Carnival – Summer Vacation Edition hosted by One Cent at a Time

Carnival of Retirement #24 hosted by Making Sense of Cents

Yakezie Carnival – Arachnophobia Edition hosted by See Debt Run

Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Broke Professionals

Totally Money Carnival #70 hosted by Young Adult Finances

Yakezie Carnival – Sushi Edition hosted by Free Ticket to Japan

Festival of Frugality #340 hosted by See Debt Run

Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Financial Product Reviews

Yakezie Carnival – Birthday Edition hosted by 20’s Finances

Festival of Frugality #339 hosted by The Frugal Toad (My post was chosen as an editor’s pick!)

Thanks for including my posts.

Get More Out of Live Real, Now

There are so many ways you can read and interact with this site.

You can subscribe by RSS and get the posts in your favorite news reader. I prefer Google Reader.

You can subscribe by email and get, not only the posts delivered to your inbox, but occasional giveaways and tidbits not available elsewhere.

You can ‘Like’ LRN on Facebook. Facebook gets more use than Google. It can’t hurt to see what you want where you want.

You can follow LRN on Twitter. This comes with some nearly-instant interaction.

You can send me an email, telling me what you liked, what you didn’t like, or what you’d like to see more(or less) of. I promise to reply to any email that isn’t purely spam.

Have a great weekend!

Carnival Roundups: The Weaponized Syphilis Edition

Life, Misc

Last weekend, I was in Denver for the Financial Blogger Conference. Last week, I had a sore throat that got worse each day until my tonsils started touching on Friday. I could barely talk, so I went to the doctor, then to bed.

It apparently wasn’t strep throat, but beyond that, it could be anything from motaba to weaponized syphilis*.

This is one of those occasions when I’m happy to be living in the future, where a quick trip to the clinic can knock out what would have been hopeless and fatal and few hundred years ago. Antibiotics and a day spent in bed watching super hero movies made me better. That beats bloodletting any day.

Live Real, Now was included in the following carnivals recently:

Yakezie Carnival: FINCON Edition hosted by Finance Product Reviews

Carnival of Money Pros hosted by My University Money

Carnival of Retirement #36 hosted by Making Sense of Cents

Carnival of Personal Finance #377 hosted by Money Life and More

Yakezie Carnival: Labor Day Edition hosted by Stock Trend Investing

Yakezie Carnival: The Best of Summer Edition hosted by On Target Coach

Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Simple Finance Blog

Carnival of Retirement #34 hosted by My Family Finances

Lifestyle Carnival #17 hosted by The Free Financial Advisor

Yakezie Carnival: Dog Days of Summer Edition hosted by Frugal Portland

Carnival of Money Pros: Back to School Edition hosted by See Debt Run

Nerdy Finance #7 hosted by Nerd Wallet

Yakezie Carnival hosted by The College Investor

Yakezie Carnival – Rescue Edition hosted by See Debt Run

Carnival of Financial Camaraderie #45 hosted by My University Money

Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Aaron Hung

Carnival of Retirement #32 hosted by Young Family Finance

Thanks for including my posts.

Get More Out of Live Real, Now

There are so many ways you can read and interact with this site.

You can subscribe by RSS and get the posts in your favorite news reader. I prefer Google Reader.

You can subscribe by email and get, not only the posts delivered to your inbox, but occasional giveaways and tidbits not available elsewhere.

You can ‘Like’ LRN on Facebook. Facebook gets more use than Google. It can’t hurt to see what you want where you want.

You can follow LRN on Twitter. This comes with some nearly-instant interaction.

You can send me an email, telling me what you liked, what you didn’t like, or what you’d like to see more(or less) of. I promise to reply to any email that isn’t purely spam.

* Weaponized Syphilis

This involves giving each of the syphilis spirochetes an M16 and a Manifest Destiny indoctrination before releasing them into the wild. The transport mechanism (the “insertion method”) remains as fun as ever.

Have a great weekend!

Money Problems – Day 4: Making a Budget

Finance

Fiscal Year 2010 Budget Briefing (200905070001HQ) — Image by nasa hq photo via Flickr

Today, I continuing the series, Money Problems: 30 Days to Perfect Finances. The series will consist of 30 things you can do in one setting to perfect your finances. It’s not a system to magically make your debt disappear. Instead, it is a path to understanding where you are, where you want to be, and–most importantly–how to bridge the gap.

I’m not running the series in 30 consecutive days. That’s not my schedule. Also, I think that talking about the same thing for 30 days straight will bore both of us. Instead, it will run roughly once a week. To make sure you don’t miss a post, please take a moment to subscribe, either by email or rss.

This is day 4 and today, you are going to make a budget.

Now that you’ve got your list of expenses and you’ve figured out your income, it’s time to put them together and do the dreaded deed. Your going to make a budget today. Don’t be scared. I’ll hold your hand.

Here are the tools you need:

Your list of expenses from Day Two.
Your list of income from Day Three.
A spreadsheet. I recommend the spreadsheet included in Google Docs, but Excel or the Open Office alternative, CALC, are acceptable substitutes.

Setting up the spreadsheet is dead simple.

Create a column for the label, telling you what each line item is. Create a column to hold the monthly payment amount. At the bottom of column 2, create a formula that totals your expenses. If you are including a bill that isn’t due monthly, use a formula similar to the day 3 income formula to figure out what you need to set aside each month. To figure a quarterly bill, multiply the amount by 4, then divide by 12. To figure a weekly bill, multiply by 52 and divide by 12.

Scoot over a few columns and do the same thing for your income.

Scoot over a couple more columns and set up a total. This is easy. It’s just a matter of subtracting your expenses from you income. Hopefully, this gives you a positive number.

To make this even easier, I’ve shared a blank budget spreadsheet. No excuses. If that simple spreadsheet doesn’t meet your needs, I’ve got a much more detailed version that includes categories. I use the detailed version.

Making a budget may be the most intimidating financial step you take, but everything else is built on the assumption that you understand where you money came from and where it is going. Without,it, your navigating a major maze based on a coin flip instead of a map.

Ignore Your Budget

Finance

For the first year of our journey out of debt, we had a strict budget, with all of our discretionary money spent out of an envelope system. We had an envelope for groceries, one for discretionary spending, one for clothes and one for baby crap. At the beginning of the month, we’d divide the money into the envelopes according to our budget spreadsheet. If we used a card for anything, we’d take a matching about of money out of the appropriate envelope and put it in a box to get reconciled the next month.

Ugh. Almost 2 years later, it has turned into too much work and too much nagging about everything either of us put on a card.

We decided to simplify the system a few months ago. Now, we still have a budget. It’s even a zero-based budget, but we ignore it. We only look at it if something changes for the worse. If something changes for the better, the extra money just gets automatically rolled into our debt snowball, so there’s no need to worry about updating the spreadsheet.

Instead of envelopes, we kind of eyeball it. We budget $450 per month for groceries, so we aim to spend $100 on our weekly grocery run. That leaves some room for losing track of how much we are putting in the cart, or a last minute addition to the list. It also leaves room for our secondary grocery trip to buy bread and milk later in the week. We do go through a lot of milk at my house. We budget $55 per month for diapers, but the deal we are currently getting with Amazon Mom is only costing us $30.79 for 6 weeks of diapers. We ignore the difference.

This—and our heavily automated bill pay and savings—lets us keep our finances on track, without stressing over every dollar or fighting over every little thing that comes home unplanned. I used to fire up Quicken and balance the checkbook every week. Now, that happens at the beginning of the month, usually. If I forget, it doesn’t matter. At the beginning of February, I balanced the checkbook for the first time in almost two months and we never came close to exercising our overdraft protection account. In fact, we had some extra, so that got sent directly to our debt.

Overall, it’s been good to test out a new system. We have almost no financial stress and managing our money takes about a couple of hours per month instead of per week. It’s all win.