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Thrifty Sucks – The 30 Day Compact

: Image by waving at you via Flickr

During the month of September, we went on a 30-day compact. We decided to avoid buying anything new for 30 days. The plan was, if we needed to buy something, we’d hit a pawn shop, a thrift store, or Craigslist. Obviously, food and consumable hygiene products were exempt from the rules. I’m not going to stink or starve for an experiment like this. Ideally, at the end of the month, our discretionary budget would reflect our extra thriftiness, leaving us a couple of hundred extra dollars at the end of the month.

Great plan.

I found out a few days ago that we actually made it 3 days. Grr. That’s when the credit card bill came. Double-Grr.

All in all, that one slip isn’t a big deal. We also had a few presents we had to buy for a couple of birthdays and one wedding. Also not a big deal, since we have a budget for gifts. It may have been against the rules, but what were we going to do, drink the free beer at the wedding without bringing a gift? How rude.

So we had a few slips. That’s not bad, considering exactly how well “consumer” describes us.

Avoiding retail shopping is a lot harder than it sounds. We have everything we need, so on paper, it should have been simple. We didn’t need anything, so we wouldn’t have to buy anything.

Like I said, great plan.

There were a few books released this month that I have been anxiously awaiting, like Monster Hunter:Vendetta and Chris Guillebeaus’s book, The Art of Non-Conformity. They have both had to wait. In the next few days, I will be buying both of these books. That makes this project very similar to an inverse “Cash for Clunkers” program. Instead of moving spending that would have happened anyway to an arbitrary time-frame, I moved spending out of an arbitrary time-frame, but the spending is still happening.

My wife has an admitted shopping addiction. This project caused a rather…explosive…discussion this week. Not-so-coincidentally, that happened the day we got the credit card bill. Note to self: “What the heck is this?” is not the right way to start a conversation. Oops.

We had 30 days of trying to avoid the retail trap, and kicking ourselves when we slipped. What did we learn?

1. We are big damned consumers. We are so much better than we used to be, but so far off of where we’d like to be.

2. Target is infinitely more convenient that Craigslist. We may pay a small premium for that convenience, but generally, it’s worth it.

3. When you forget to budget for a speeding ticket that needs to be paid 5 months after you received it, it does not matter if you saved some of your discretionary budget by not shopping retail that month.

4. When you open a credit card bill and get upset, be prepared to get clubbed over the head with #3. Repeatedly.

This month, I’m going to do my best to learn a new language. I’m having a hard time deciding which one. Spanish would be most practical. Norwegian would let me read some of the artwork on my Grandma’s wall, but Italian sounds like the most fun.

Nothing like waiting until the last minute.

10 Ways to (re)Use Shopping Bags

Finance, Parenting

: Image by publicenergy via Flickr

When I go shopping, I don’t bring my own grocery bags…mostly because I’m not a hippy. I do tend to double-bag my groceries just so I can bring more shiny plastic bags home to play with. What do I do with them, you ask? I’m glad you asked, because that is why I am writing this post. Thank you for cooperating.

Here are my favorite 10 things to do with shopping bags:

Garbage bag. When I’m cooking, I hang a shopping bag on the drawer handle where I’m working, so all the scraps can go straight into the trash. I just slide the onion skins or pepper cores off the counter right into the bag.
Garbage bag II. Why buy small garbage bags for that tiny can in the bathroom? A plastic shopping bag works just as well.
Pooper scooper. Instead of buying some gadget or even a little roll of bags, just tuck one of these into your pocket when you take the dog for a walk. Instant poop removal.
Paint brush saver. When you are painting, if you have to stop for the night, wrap your brush in a plastic bag and put it in the refrigerator. It will be ready to use in the morning, without have to clean it or pick out dried paint flakes.
Halloween mask. Draw a lipstick mouth on the bag, pull it down and you are an instant “bag lady”. Seriously, this is bad advice. Don’t put a plastic bag over your face, no matter what some jerk on the internet says.
Power-strip water-resistor. I go a bit crazy decorating for Halloween. Right now, there is a lighted path, 2 coffins, a few full-sized monsters, 30-40 tombstones, and over 100 skulls in my yard. Some of that is animated. I wraps power strips and extension cord connections in plastic bags, then duct-tape the bag-seams. I’m not an electrician, or a code-compliance officer, so don’t take this as advice, but it has worked well for me.
Recycling bin. This requires paper bags, not plastic, and it makes me a bit of a hippy. I keep a paper bag next to the garbage can just for the recycling. I keep another handy just to use to collect junk-mail for my primitive alternative to a paper shredder.
Dirty laundry. I’ve got 2 kids in different stages of potty-training. When fit hits the shan, so to speak, the dirty/wet clothes go into a bag that I conveniently keep in the diaper bag. I knot that sucker tight and the scents and stains don’t get all over the stroller or the car.
Dandelion torture chamber. If you’re the kind of person who likes to roam around your yard with a scissors, cutting the heads off of dandelions while they are still pretty, there is no better place to store the mutilated remains of your victims than a shopping bag from Target. Show those other weeds what happens to trespassers! I wish I was making this up.
Car kits for kids. Before we go on a trip, we have the kids fill up a small bag with books and toys to keep themselves occupied for the drive. This isn’t recommended if your kids have to taste everything they touch, but it’s been a simple-yet-elegant solution for us.

Do you use shopping bags for more than just a way to transport clutter from the store to your house?

The Spending Styles of the Rocky Horror Picture Show

Finance

: Image via Wikipedia

Everybody has a spending style. Like a fingerprint, it is unique to each individual, even if that individual is fictional.

Since it is the Halloween season, and The Rocky Horror Picture Show is a Halloween movie, I’m going to look at how those characters spend their money.

Janet Weiss – A Heroine

Janet is the stereotype of every suburbanite soccer-mom-who-hasn’t-gotten-married-and-had-kids-yet. She wants to keep up with the Joneses(“It’s nicer than Betty Monroe had! [Oh Brad!]”) and she is obviously impressed by and envious of people who have all of the trappings of the “finer things”. If she has a credit card, you can bet that it is peeling on the sides from over-use. While she wears conservative clothes and sensible shoes to go visit an old mentor, she’s almost definitely got a closet full of fancy shoes and a drawer full of real-baby-seal-skin g-strings. If Brad were smarter, he’d run, and not just because of her loyalty issues. She’ll never be content with a sensible car and modest house.

Brad Majors – A Hero

Brad is a pompous jerk who thinks he’s better than those around him. He’s also extremely conservative and slow to accept change. He’s going to give Janet an allowance and complain every time she spends a penny of it. His investment portfolio is well-balanced and configured for long-term growth and he’s going to rub your nose in it at the neighborhood barbecue. To shut him up, just ask why his kid was born with an accent and garters.

Magenta – A Domestic

What’s a domestic? Magenta is the most financially responsible person in the show. She’s third -in-command of an alien invasion, but still takes on a second job? That’s a woman planning for retirement. She’s not going to rely on anyone to support her. She knows how to enjoy a party, without having to spend all of her money on a glitter-suit.

Columbia – A Groupie (as Little Nell)

Columbia is incapable of making a decision that wasn’t pre-formed by her peer group. She’s doomed to chase every fad, hoping it will impress those around her. While she’ll always be remembered for her glitter-suit or the corset that isn’t quite tall enough, she’ll never be happy or have a spare penny in case of emergencies.

Riff Raff – A Handyman

Riff Raff has jealousy issues. He sees his boss and commander throwing a party and having a good time, but, instead of working towards being able to do that himself, he kills his boss and steals his house. He is greedy, jealous, and deceitful. Don’t ever turn your back on him, or he’ll steal your wallet, hit you over the head and bury you in the backyard just so he can pretend it’s his party.

Eddie – Ex Delivery Boy (as Meatloaf)

Eddie is out of his head (H-E-D). He’s the tag-a-long who will keep buying expensive dinners that he can’t afford in an attempt to impress whoever is around to see him pick up the check. He isn’t sure how to fit in, but he’s positive that he can buy his way there. In reality, he’s dead(spelled right) broke and will end up getting screwed.

Rocky Horror – A Creation

Here is the true blank slate. He’s just seven hours old, so he’s got no bad habits to break. Unfortunately, he’s never had to learn any hard lessons, so his head is easily turned by an glittered bauble or babbling, half-dressed flake. He’s incapable of making an informed decision about anything, so he follows everyone around getting whatever they like. He’ll spend his entire life getting by on his looks, which will almost always be successful, until life catches up to him and he dies broke and alone.

Dr. Frank-N-Furter – A Scientist

Frank knows how to throw a party. He travels 12 billion light years brings not only a keg, but the entire party house with him. Who wouldn’t want to be his friend? There’s a fancy house, a room to stay in if you drink too much, pretty people being built in the lab, and gourmet corn-fed delivery-boy being served for dinner. Watch out, though. He doesn’t tend to his job. One day, the credit cards will be maxed, the bank will foreclose on the house and send it back to Sweet Transexual Transylvania, leaving Frank penniless. Who will be his friend then?

Which Rocky character are you?

           Science Fiction
           Double Feature.
           Frank has built and
           Lost his creature.
           Darkness has conquered
           Brad and Janet.
           The servants gone to
           A distant planet.

Future Dreams

Relationships

While jogging with my wife a few days ago, we had a conversation that we haven’t had in years. We discussed our dreams.

It’s an important conversation for couples to have. What are your hopes? What are your dreams? Where do you want to be in 10 years? In 20? In 50? Planning for the future gives you a map for the present.

My wife and I hadn’t had this conversation in years. A few days ago, we did. Our life-goals are simple and achievable.

I want to leave the corporate world and support my family with writing and the training classes I do. I want a chunk of land outside of any major metropolitan area, but close enough for the entertainment and shopping. I want enough land to expand my classes on my own property, relying on no one.

My wife wants enough land to have some horses. It was unspoken, but I think she wants my goals to take off so they can support her goals, too.

We want a comfortable retirement and we want to help the kids with college.

We’re a bit behind the game for college funding. That’s ok, though. There is nothing wrong with a kid working his way through college and learning those life lessons.

We are also behind on the retirement. But, if I can support us doing the things I love, I don’t need $X million. Retirement isn’t a cessation of activity, it is taking the time to do the things you love on your own schedule. If writing a book while sitting on my private range is enough to fund our life, that’s the perfect retirement.

Birthdays on the Cheap

Finance, Parenting

Birthdays are expensive. Shoot, I’ve said that before. It’s usually true, but it doesn’t have to be. Here are five ways to cut birthday party costs. Note: If you’re trying to cut costs on an adult party, just replace the word “kid” with “guest of honor”.

1. Location, location, location. The amusement park/pizza place is nice if you like bad pizza, but it’s certainly not cheap. The inflatable playground may be the talk of the school for a day or two, but it’ll flex your debit card in ways it’s just not used to. Why? Kids, being kids, are capable of entertaining themselves. They’ve got imaginations that should make most adults weep with envy. If that fails, make them play a board game or in the worst case, some video games. Lock the wild young’ns in the basement and let ’em go nuts for a couple of hours. It’ll be a blast, I promise.

2. Why invite the world? How many friends does your kid actually have? I’m not talking about all of the kids in school he’s not fighting with or every kid on the block that hasn’t TP’d your house. I mean actual friendship. If they don’t play together regularly, nobody will be offended about missing an invitation. Invite the entire class? That’s just nuts. Thirty ankle-biters smearing cupcakes on the wall? No thank you. You kid will have more fun with 2-3 close friends than 20-30 acquaintances.

3. Toy flood. What was the last toy your kid played with? The last 10? How many toys have been completely neglected for months or years? How many stuffed animals are buried so deep in the pile in the corner that they are wishing for a fluffy Grim Reaper to come put them out of their misery? Don’t buy your kid clutter. It’s a hassle to clean up–and you will–and it trains them into bad habits for a lifetime. One or two things that they will treasure(or, better yet, wear!) will work our much better for everyone than a dozen things to forget in a toy box. Too many toys guarantees that the kid won’t get attached to any of them. Down with kid-clutter!

4. Designer Cake. Who needs a fancy cake? Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t you going to start a fire on the thing, then cut it up and give it to a dozen little runts to rub in their hair? If you can’t bake it yourself, a quarter sheet is cheap at the big box grocery stores and will guarantee leftovers. Nothing starts the week better than chocolate marble cake for breakfast on Monday.

5. Food. Don’t. That was easy. Scheduling is an important way to keep costs down. Don’t have the party at lunch time. For small children, 1:30 PM is about perfect. The parents won’t stick around once the kids are ready for a nap. For older kids, 4PM means they will need to be home for dinner. That cuts the menu down to kool-aid, light snack food, and cake. It also ensures that the party won’t drag on forever.

It’s possible to have a budget birthday party without being totally lame. Give it a shot. Your kids won’t mind.

This post is a blast from the past.

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