This is a conversation between me and my future self, if my financial path wouldn’t have positively forked 2 years ago. The transcript is available here.
What would your future self have to say to you?
The no-pants guide to spending, saving, and thriving in the real world.
This is a conversation between me and my future self, if my financial path wouldn’t have positively forked 2 years ago. The transcript is available here.
What would your future self have to say to you?
[Editor: This is a guest post from my good friend Terra. I’ve know her for–jeez, really–20 years. If you’re looking for a staff writer, hit her up. Seriously. She’s good people.]
Who doesn’t want a brighter future for their child? Book store shelves overflow with parenting advice tomes and how-to guides to make “uber-kids”. Eager parents lap up promises to raise their children’s I.Q., increase their chances to get into college, and improve their social skills.
From books to apps to specialized software, there is a dizzying number of products available to help your child grow into the genius you know he or she is.
But what if I told you that the secrets to increasing your child’s likelihood to succeed in life were absolutely free. Simple things you have complete control over. No batteries or special upgrades required. No matter your income, education level, or what country you live in, these deceptively simple tips offer powerful results.
Food connects people. From the dawn of time, our species has gathered around the fire, to break bread and share our stories.
In modern times, our schedule can be crazy (between work, social activities, and, you know, life) so having dinner on the table at 6 o’clock every night is not always possible. However, studies consistently show that having a family meal at least 3 times a week has huge benefits for children (from teenagers being less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, to increased academic success, to reduced risk of developing eating disorders or becoming obese, the implications are impressive). And it doesn’t have to be dinner, any meal will work. Consistency is the key.
Far from being boring, children find the predictable routine of family meals reassuring, promoting warm, fuzzy feelings of closeness and comfort (though teenagers will never admit it). Whether it’s take-out or made from scratch goodness, nothing says “I care about you” like sharing a meal.
Quality matters here, so remove distractions during meal time (turn off the TV, ban phones) and focus on each other. Take this time to reconnect and talk about your day and ask the kids about theirs. Make this time sacred. It matters that much.
“We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” – Virginia Satir, psychotherapist
Receiving a loving hug feels wonderful. But beyond feeling “nice”, hugs literally have the power to heal us and improve our lives.
Hugs have superpowers. A hug has the power to release a “happiness hormone cocktail” of oxytocin (natural antidepressant, promotes feelings of devotion, trust and bonding), dopamine (intense pleasure), and serotonin (elevates mood, negates pain and sadness) in both the giver and receiver. Bonus, hugs are naturally gluten-free, organic, and have no unpleasant side effects.
To get the most benefits, prolonged hugging is recommended, around 20 seconds. A full-body hug stimulates your nervous system while decreasing feelings of loneliness, combating fear, increasing self-esteem, defusing tension, and showing appreciation. However, this hug fest only works its magic if you’re hugging someone you trust. Since children love to be held and cuddled, this is ideal for family bonding. Not so much with that new client you just landed (awkward…).
How does hugging effect children specifically? Children who aren’t hugged have delays in walking, talking, and reading. Hugging boosts self-esteem; from the time we’re born our family’s touch shows us that we’re loved and special. All of those cuddles we give to our children are imprinted on them at a cellular level and will still be imbedded in their nervous system as adults. Hugs today equal the ability to self-love as adults. That’s an awesome gift.
We all know how important reading aloud to children is, from infants to teenagers. Reading is one of the most important factors affecting the development of a child’s brain. But reading skills are not hardwired into us; we don’t pop out of the womb quoting “Pride and Prejudice”. Reading skills need to be taught and encouraged.
Parents are a child’s first, and most important, teachers. While children can learn from flashcards and workbooks, nothing is more powerful than seeing your passion for reading. Whether you like it or not, your children are learning from your every move. What you find important, they will find important. No pressure! Teaching reading to your child requires attention, focus, and motivation. It also requires access to books, lots and lots of books.
Libraries are a great resource for developing a love of reading in your child. Most have a thoughtfully arranged children’s area offering story-time and other enrichment opportunities. However, nothing beats having a book to call your own, to hold and cherish, until the edges are worn with love.
Having a well-stocked home library, it turns out, matters. A lot. This study found that having a 500-book library was equivalent to having university-educated parents in terms of increasing the level of education their children will attain. That’s pretty powerful. It doesn’t matter if your family is rich or poor, from North America or Asia, if your parents are illiterate or college-educated, what matters is that you have books in your home.
Don’t’ have the space for 500 books? No worries. Having as few as 20 books in the home still has a significant impact on propelling a child to a higher level of education, and the more books you add, the greater the benefit.
Having a variety of books available makes a difference; especially important are reference books, with history and science texts having the greatest benefit.
No money for books? No Excuse! Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library is a great resource for free, high-quality children’s books. When you sign up, your child is mailed a new book each month until the age of five, addressed to them (a very special thing indeed).
I hope these tips empower you to take action. Small changes can have a big impact on your child’s future. Just remember, it’s not the money you make or the tutor you’ve hired or the new app you’ve installed that will catapult your baby Einstein ahead in life. It’s the quiet moments with you at home, eating, hugging, and reading that will carry them through whatever life brings their way.
Are these things you would like to focus on in your family? Do you have simple parenting tips that have made a difference in your child’s life?
There is a little-known secret to saving money on almost anything. If you want to know what it is, please send a case of beer and a self-addressed, stamped envelope to my house.
No takers?
In that case, I will share the secret that has been passed down from father to son since the Mesopotamians landed the Santa Maria at Plymouth Rock.
Ready?
The secret is to…ask.
That’s right, just suck it up and say “Pretty Please”.
How does it work?
In the easiest version, you call up one of the companies you pay regularly and you say “How can I save some money?”
Allow me to give you some examples.
Call up your insurance company and ask, “How can I save some money with you?” You may be offered a multi-line discount if you let them insure your home and your car or you might be told to raise your deductible. If you have a $1000 emergency fund, you can afford a $500 deductible. They may recommend that you drop some coverages that you don’t need or they may ask you some questions that will allow them to lower your rate. For many years, I lived 2 miles from work and got a discount for the low mileage.
When you call your electric company to ask the magic question, they may offer to conduct a home energy audit to determine where you home is leaking energy. If they try to charge you for the audit, remind them how long you’ve been a customer in good standing.
Another option they may offer is to install a remotely-triggered switch on your air-conditioner. Around here, that switch is good for a 15% discount off of my bill in the summer.
If you are out of a contract or near the end of your contract you have leverage. Look up the best comparable deal from another company. Then, call your cell phone provider, ask to be transferred to the retention department, then ask them to convince you to stay. They will.
If you aren’t near the end of your contract, you can still call and ask. If that doesn’t work, watch the mail and any emails from the company. If they change the terms of your contract, you can get out of it without paying a penalty. If you get that opportunity, call and ask for the retention department.
I am assuming you have a credit card with a balance that gets carried from month to month.
Credit card companies are competitive. Find a competing deal and call your company. Ask them to beat the deal. If the competitor is offering 9%, ask for 8%. If they refuse, call up the competitor. Tell them you will transfer your balance over if they will waive the transfer fee. A surprising number of companies will be happy to do so.
Most bills can be reduced in some way. All you have to do is ask.
Have you had any luck pointing the shrink ray at your bills?
Students who graduated college in 2015 were said to have graduated with an estimated $35,000 in student loan debt. Of course, some students will have less and some more depending on what you did throughout your time in college. Either way, it is a lot of money and money that must be paid back whether you want to or not.
Student loan refinancing is an available option for many students and it will provide them with some of the relief they need financially. Did you know that refinancing your student loans can save you thousands of dollars? It’s okay if you didn’t – I will show you just how it can save you money and ease the strain on your budget.
Student Loan Refinancing: What the Heck Is It?
Before you can apply for refinancing, you need to understand what it is. When you refinance your student loan, your new lender will pay off your old loans and gives you a new loan with updated terms and rates.
Most student loan refinancing is done through a private lender, which means that there may be eligibility requirements that need to be met before you can actually go through with the refinancing.
How Can Refinancing Save Me Thousands?
There are a couple of different ways that refinancing can help save you thousands. First and foremost, you will receive a new interest rate. The rate itself will often vary depending on your situation, but usually falls somewhere between 2-5% for most students. The jump from a 6-8% interest rate to a 2-5% interest rate it immense. Let’s take a look.
For example, if you have a student loan balance of $25,000 at a 6.5% interest rate and your term is 10 years, you will pay a total of $9,065 in interest over the course of the term. Now, if we change the interest rate down to 3.5%, you will only pay $4,665 in interest payments over the course of the 10 years. That is a savings of $4,400!
The second way that you can save thousands is by adjusting the length of your payback period. Often times, the default is set at 10 years, but students often extend it out to 20 or 25 years. This will increase the amount you pay in the long run because you now need to pay interest over that extended period.
When you refinance your student loans, you are able to shorten the term of your loan, which means you pay thousands less because you do not have to continue to pay interest over the extended length of the loan.
Final Thoughts on Student Loan Refinancing
Student loan refinancing is a great option for students looking to destroy their debt, but it is not always an option for everyone. You do need to qualify, which means you need a good credit score or a cosigner with a good credit score. Refinancing your student loans can help save you thousands of dollars over time, so if you do have the option to do it, you should.
Getting started saving money is hard. It’s easy to get used to instant gratification and impulse purchases. Postponing material fulfillment takes discipline and deferred enjoyment. I don’t like deferring my enjoyment, but I do it. The path to successful savings isn’t always easy, but it is gratifying, when you give it the time and effort required to see actual results.
Here’s the 10 step plan to successful savings:
This is how we’ve managed to build up a small-but-comfortable emergency fund and tackle a nice chunk of our debt. Do you have plan to save?
I’m a fan of saving money. I’m not doing as much of it as I’d like, but that’s because I’m focusing on killing my final credit card, first. I postpone saving, knowing that it’s
something that I need to do the moment my credit cards are paid off. It won’t wait any longer than that.
Why do I care so much about saving? It’s because I’m risk-averse. If I can avoid risk, I do, in most situations. I don’t want to risk going hungry if I lose my job, and I don’t want to risk eventually(very eventually!) having to fight the cockroaches for the right to drink my fiber supplements.
There are a couple of excellent reasons to save:
1. Peace of Mind. There is a certain calm that comes from having enough savings to weather a few storms. If your car dies when you’re broke, it’s a tragedy. If it dies when you’ve got some cash saved up, it’s a minor inconvenience. Knowing that the vagaries of fate aren’t going to shatter your life against a cliff is a reward all its own.
2. Cheap nursing homes suck. When I get old, I want to live in a comfortable nursing home. One with extended cable, nice beds, and attractive coeds in charge of the sponge-baths. That’s not too much to ask, but I have to save up for it now. Medicaid doesn’t cover homes like that. Those are strictly a private affair. To make that happen, I need to save and invest now, or I won’t be able to enjoy the fruits of my labors then.
And, of course, there is one shining reason not to save:
1. You’re living your life now. Saving everything you’ve got, to the detriment of your current life, isn’t healthy either. Life is short. Do you really want to be curled up in bed, trying to enjoy a sponge-bath, shivering at the regrets you’ve built by denying yourself everything? I’m certainly not suggesting you waste all of your money on coke, hookers, and video games, but it is important to take the time to build some memories, or your final years will be hollow.
You have to find the right balance between your future and your present. Every moment of your life is important, not just the ones that haven’t happened, yet.