- @ScottATaylor Thanks for following me. in reply to ScottATaylor #
- RT @ChristianPF: 5 Tips For Dealing With Your Medical Debt http://su.pr/2cxS1e #
- Dining Out vs Cooking In: http://su.pr/3JsGoG #
- RT: @BudgetsAreSexy: Be Proud of Your Emergency Fund! http://tinyurl.com/yhjo88l ($1,000 is better than $0.00) #
- [Read more…] about Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-12-12
Book Review: Delivering Happiness
In April, I was given an advanced reader copy of Delivering Happiness by Tony Hsieh on the condition that I give it an honest review. Delivering Happiness is being released today and here is my review.
Tony Hsieh was one of the founders of LinkExchange, which sold to Microsoft for $256 million in 1999. Shortly thereafter, he became affiliated with Zappos.com and ended up as CEO. Zappos.com was later sold to Amazon.com as a “wholly-owned subsidiary” in a stock-exchange transaction valued at $1.2 billion.
Delivering Happiness is his story and that of the creation and management of Zappos.com.
The book is divided into three sections: Profits, Passion, and Purpose.
Section 1 is largely autobiographical. It tells the story of Hsieh’s business ventures all through his life, from a failed worm farm to a failed newspaper to an abandoned greeting card business. Obviously the business of having children sell greeting cards had improved between his childhood and mine, because, when I did it, there were many more choices than just Christmas cards. I still have both the telescope and microscope I earned selling overpriced greeting cards. An important lesson imparted is that past success is not an indicator of future success. Different personalities, goals, and economics can change the result of two nearly identical activities.
Hsieh tells the story of the excitement of building LinkExchange and how he knew it was time to move on when the excitement faded, largely due to a surprising change to the corporate culture. After leaving, he spent some time just living and reviewing his past activities. He came to the conclusion that the happiest times of his life didn’t involve money. Doing things right beats strictly maximizing profits. Taking business lessons from the poker table, he reminds his readers that the Right Decision may lose sometimes, but it is still Right.
When he gets into building his business on a foundation of relationships, he is reminiscent of Keith Ferrazzi. Don’t network. Build your relationships based on friendship and let the friendship be it’s own reward. The rest will follow.
Section 2–while denying it was intended–reads heavily like marketing copy. It is almost entirely about how wonderful Zappos.com is to work for and with. I think it is fascinating to read about how successful businesses are built and how the corporate culture comes with that, but it’s not for everyone. The important points from this section include being open to necessary change without being reckless and their insistence on transparency. I don’t believe in hoarding information and it’s wonderful to hear others feel the same way. They go as far as giving all of the profitability and sales numbers to the vendors, live, which makes the vendors feel respected and gives the vendors an opportunity to suggest future orders based on past trends. That saves time and effort for the buyers at Zappos.com.
Section 3 attempts to tie the business lessons to life lessons and almost–but not quite–succeeds. After discussing differences in vision and alignment between the Zappos executives and the board, he talks about his growing speaking arrangements. When he started, he nervously memorized his presentations, resulting in mediocre speeches. When he discovered his “flow”, it all improved. His method of writing and speaking involves being passionate about his topic, telling personal stories, and being real. When he adopted that plan, his speaking became natural and popular.
In the final chapter, Hsieh actually discusses happiness. His equation is Perceived Control + Perceived Progress + Connectedness + Vision & Meaning = Happiness. He works to apply all of this as a part of the corporate culture at Zappos, giving the employees a measure of control over their advancement, duties, and culture. The employees help write the Corporate Culture book, which is given to all new hires and vendors. I intend to get a hold of a copy in the near future. It sounds like a fascinating read.
He also addresses the three types of happiness: Pleasure, Passion, and Higher Purpose, also described as Rockstar, In The Zone, and Being a Part of Something Bigger. The first is fleeting, and the last is long-lasting.
Would I recommend the book?
Yes. I found Delivering Happiness to be incredibly interesting, but, if you have no interest in how a successful-but-not-traditional company is built and run, or if you are bored by successful people, this book is not for you. The book is largely autobiographical and a case study in the success of Zappos.com. If that sounds remotely interesting, you will not regret reading this book.
Now, the fun part. I was given two copies of the book. The first one is becoming a permanent part of library. The second is being given away.
Giveaway
There are three ways to enter:
1. Twitter. Follow me and post the following: @LiveRealNow is giving away a copy of Delivering Happiness(@dhbook). Follow and RT to enter. http://bit.ly/czd31X
2. Become a fan on Facebook and post about the giveaway.
3. Post about the giveaway on your blog and link back to this post.
That’s 3 possible entries.
Next Sunday, I will throw all the entries in a hat and draw a name.
Future Reviews
If you have a book you’d like me to review, please contact me.
Kids Are Temporary
Have you ever watched someone go nuts after they have kids?
I mean, even after the I-haven’t-slept-more-than-20-minutes-in-a-row-for-3-months stage of babydom?
These people dedicate their lives to their kids. They sacrifice all of their hopes and dreams and focus on the brats. They can’t have a date night because little Sally might get lonely without mommy and daddy. Can’t have a hobby because Johnny’s on the traveling soccer team. Can’t get laid because it’s a family bed and that’s kind of creepy when the kids are right there.
Everything for the kids.
As they grow, it gets worse. You spend more time helping with homework and less time talking to your wife. More time playing chauffeur, less time playing doctor.
It’s a nasty cycle, and it comes with an abrupt stop.
What happens when school’s out? Little Johnny graduates with a dual degree in Practical Philosophy and Experimental Art History, gets a job at the local Stab-and-Grab, gets married, and starts a family.
When that happens, parents suddenly become “extended family”. The kid has a life of his own and probably doesn’t need his clothes picked out in the morning, a ride to soccer practice, or someone to write his name in his underwear.
This is planned. It is–in theory–the reason we raise our kids. It shouldn’t be a surprise, even if it is a bit of a shock.
Can you survive it? Can your marriage?
If you’ve spent the last 20 years of your life pretending you are nothing but a system for delivering food, rides, and gadgets for your kids, what are you going to do with your time when they are busy pretending they are that system for their kids? If you’ve never developed a hobby, are you going to go extra-special, bat-**** crazy now?
For 20 years, have all of your conversations been about your kids? Have all of your outings been birthday parties? Will you have anything to say to your spouse when the kids are gone?
Your kids are temporary.
They are important. They are your genetic legacy and the people who will choose your nursing home. Don’t neglect them, but you do have to hold something back. Make time for yourself. Make time for your husband or your wife. Or both, if you can make that work.
When your kids are working 90 hour weeks building a new career, or hustling 4 kids to 10 after-school activities, your life doesn’t get to revolve around them.
All you’ve got is yourself and your wife. If she’s not feeling secure about your feelings now, when she loses the distraction of puke in her hair, that insecurity will blossom in unpleasant ways. If you can’t find a conversation that doesn’t involve the kids now, the silence will be blistering when you eventually lose that crutch.
If you don’t have a hobby, get one.
If you don’t have a relationship with your wife, get one. Take her on a date tonight. Your kids are temporary, your marriage shouldn’t be. This is the rest of your life. Make it worthwhile.
5 Ways to Change Your Spending Habits
If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’re going to keep getting what you you’ve always gotten. One of the hardest things about getting out of debt is changing your habits. You need to break your habits if you’re going to get yourself to a new place, financially.
How can you do that? Habits aren’t easy to break. Ask any smoker, junkie, or overeater what it takes. There are a lot of systems to break or establish habits, but they don’t all work for everyone.
Here are my suggestions:
- Commit to just 30 days. I’m a big fan of doing new things for 30 days. If you can do it for a month, you can do it forever, no matter what “it” is. For just one month, don’t buy anything. I don’t mean avoid buying groceries or toiletries and I certainly don’t mean to stock up on new crap the day before your 30 day spending fast or rush out for a shopping spree on day 31. Just don’t buy anything for a month, no exceptions but the things necessary to stay alive and healthy. No movies, no games, no cars, no toys, and no expensive meals. Just 1 month.
- Switch methods. If you pay for everything with a credit card, restrict yourself to just cash. If you pay cash for everything, switch to a credit card. Breaking your long-established habits is a way to get used to spending consciously: taking the time to think about what you are doing, instead of just spending mindlessly.
- Identify your spending triggers. I can’t go into a book store and come out empty handed. So, I avoid bookstores. My wife has problems with clothing stores. A friend can’t walk out of a music store without some body piercing equipment. What are your triggers? What makes you spend money without thinking? Figure out what those things are and then avoid them like the plague…or the clap.
- Quit buying things for pleasure. Buying things makes us feel good. It sends a rush of endorphins through our bodies. The more we get that rush, the more we crave that rush, so the more we do to get it. You need to stop that. Before you buy something, ask yourself if it’s something you actually need, or if you just want a pick-me-up.
- Avoid shopping online. E-commerce sites make it far too easy to buy things at a moment’s notice. You don’t have to think about what you are doing or if you actually need whatever you are buying. You just buy. The best way too avoid them is to delete your credit card information from any site that save the information and delete the sites from your bookmarks. Whatever you can do to slow down the buying process will make it easier to avoid buying things, which can soon be stretched into NOT buying things at all.
Habits—especially bad habits—are hard to break. There is an entire self-help niche dedicated to breaking habits. Hypnotists, shrinks, and others base their careers on helping others get out of the grip of their bad habits, or conning them into thinking it is easy to do with some magic system. How do you avoid or break bad habits?
How to Complain – The Squeaky Wheel Gets the Grease
Have you ever been screwed by a company? Have they sent you the wrong item, or an empty box, or left your order backordered for so long that you can’t even dispute it with your credit card company any more?
What can you do?
I know you’ve heard the phrase, “The squeaky wheel gets the grease.” That means, he whines loudest, gets the most. The thing is, you have to whine effectively, or you’ll just get round-filed.
Targeting Subsystems On
Who you complain to matters more than what you complain about. The clerk at your local big-box retailer isn’t going to refund your online purchase. You need to complain to someone who can make a decision to help you. First, find the customer service email address. Next, if you are complaining about a recurring service, find the retention department’s email address. Finally, find the email address for absolutely everybody Vice-President or above for that company, including the board of directors. Go to their website, find the email for some PR drone and figure out the format. First.Last@Company.com or FirstInitial.LastName@Company.com or whatever. Look up the company in Google Finance and translate everyone’s name into the email format. You might not have the perfect list, but it should be close.
Target Locked On
Now that you know who you are about to blast, what are you going to say? A few things to include are:
- Your contact information. If they can’t get back to you, they can’t make it up to you.
- Details of the problem. Include the date of purchase, date of delivery, and a detailed description of what actually went wrong.
- Scanned copies of receipts.
- Any names of anybody you’ve had to deal with, either in the original transaction or when the problem occurred, if you have the names.
Engage!
What to say, what to say?
- Don’t be abusive. It’s okay to be angry, and it’s okay to let them know your are angry, but swearing or threatening their lives will–at best–only get you ignored. Worst case, threats are illegal and they can pass your email along to the police.
- Stay brief. It doesn’t matter that your daddy took you to Starbucks to use their free wi-fi when you were just three years old. Don’t talk about that time the aliens abducted you or how sad you are that they never call like they promised they would. Keep to the point. “This is who I am. This is what happened. This is what I want you to do about it.”
Send that sucker out. If you feeling particularly perturbed, send a CC to your state’s Attorney General and any possibly related regulatory agencies. I tend to save this step for round 2.
How to Cut Costs on Legal Fees
Occasionally, life goes truly pear-shaped and you’re forced to enter the legal system.
Even if you’re not embroiled in a tawdry, tabloid-fodder divorce, there are still legal issues that everyone needs to address, without exception.
The problem? Or rather, one of many, if you’re having legal problems?
Lawyers are expensive.
Before I go any further:
- If you are having criminal court issues, get a lawyer. Get the best possible lawyer. Really. The cost does not compare to a lifetime in jail, or even 10 years. If you’re facing jail, get the best dang attorney you can find.
- I am not only not an attorney, but I’ve never even played one on TV. I have driven past a law school a couple of times, but never stopped in. I do know several attorney, carry the business cards of a couple and have a couple on my speed dial, just in case. If any of them thought I was giving legal advice, I’d be in trouble. To reiterate: I am not an attorney. This is not legal advice.
- Don’t do a prenuptual agreement at home. A prenup will almost always be found unenforceable if both parties don’t have an attorney.
Where was I? Ah, yes. Lawyers are expensive, but there are ways to mitigate that.
There a couple of things you can handle yourself.
Small claims court, also known as conciliation court. Typical cases in conciliation court include cases involving sums under $7500(varies by state) that involve unpaid debts or wages, claims by tenants to get a security deposit, claims by landlords for property damage, or claims about possession or ownership of property. Fees and procedures vary by state, but generally cost less than $100 to file. The procedures for your state can be found by googling “small claims court” and the name of your state.
Small worker’s compensation cases can be handled yourself, if they don’t involve a demotion or termination related to the injury.
Apartment and car leases are usually simple and straightforward. Read them carefully, but you probably won’t need a lawyer.
You can probably handle your own estate planning and will writing with some decent software. I love Quicken Willmaker. It walked me through a detailed will that takes care of my kids, and gave me advice on financing their futures in the horrible event that I am tragically killed before my wonderousness can fully permeate the world. It also contains forms for promissory notes, bills of sale, health care directives and more. If you have extensive property, I’d still seek an attorney’s advice, but I’d bring the Willmaker will with me to save some time and money.
Purchase agreements. A few years ago, I sold a truck to a friend and accepted payments. I made a promissory note and payment schedule. When he quit paying or calling me, that paperwork was enough to get the state to accept the repossession when I took the truck back.
A simple no-fault divorce is actually pretty painless, on the scale of divorce pain. Again, the procedures vary heavily by state.
Other resources for finding legal information free or cheap include www.legalzoom.com and www.nolo.com.
Have you had to do any of your own legal work? How did it work out?