It’s true that the benefits of a parent cannot be measured or quantified in any meaningful way. It’s hard to put a price on the emotional commitment and special experience of raising a child as a parent, some of which may not even be realized by the parents themselves until afterwards. But it is undeniable that the experience of parenthood is a rewarding and special time in someone’s life.
5 Reasons Why I Splurge On Travel
Guest Post Author Bio: Miss T blogs at Prairie EcoThrifter. She grew up in the Canadian prairies and still lives there today. She is passionate about saving money, being healthy, looking out for our environment, and most of all having fun. Her blog shares tips on how you too can live a green, debt free, and fun life.
This week I am participating in a Yakezie blog swap where I am to answer the question ” Name a time when you splurged and were glad you did.” I had to seriously think about this for a minute and then it came to me. What do I consistently spend my money on that brings me the most enjoyment? Answer: Travel.
To say I love to travel would be an understatement. Travel for me is a life changing experience that I desire to re-live over and over again. I can think of a million reasons why I love to travel, but I thought I would boil it down to five.
1. Learn about myself. When I travel I gain a deeper understanding of myself and the world in general. Much of the experience is dependent on how different the environment is from what I am used to. When I traveled to Europe the first time, I got to try some different food and see how great it was to have a siesta in the middle of the day, but the transition was relatively painless. When I traveled to Central America last year for my honeymoon, I was a lot more out of my comfort zone. I was sleeping with tarantulas and geckos and trying food I couldn’t even pronounce. Plus, I couldn’t speak the language.
When I am in this kind of situation, I encounter things that I have never encountered before. I am forced to be on the alert because I don’t have any prior knowledge to rely on. Since everything is new, I am automatically forced to try to make sense of it all.
For many of us we have never really looked inside ourselves and examined what we are made of. When we are somewhere new, we have nowhere to hide. This is the point where you become really intimate with the ideas you have of yourself, of your ego, of life, which you may have been really identified to, and derived your sense of self from.
Your ego is essentially your self image; it’s the persona you display to society. Your ego survives only by constantly seeking approval from that which it wants to identify with. This is the society you are raised in. What happens when your family, friends, and your typical environment is not there to reinforce the ideas you have of your self? You ego becomes shaky; it starts to lose it’s hold on you. By traveling to the unknown, your ego falls apart and the true you is given the chance to emerge.
You begin to challenge and question everything you have ever believed. If you can be brave and not run away and use this as way to grow, you will see that all your beliefs belong to society and that they were never really yours to begin with. This can be extremely scary, liberating, nauseating and a million other things all at the same time.
I remember going through this very process when I traveled to Cuba. I knew intellectually that there were people in this world that weren’t as fortunate as me, but I was never able to fully understand that until I saw how some people lived in Cuba. I couldn’t help but reflect on what it would be like to never be able to own a home because the government owned everything and personal freedom didn’t exist. I wondered what it would be like to be so poor that I would have to walk around grimy city streets barefoot because I couldn’t afford shoes and it wouldn’t matter how many cuts I would get from broken glass because I had to get myself to work everyday on foot. That trip really shattered my ego and my mental models and when I arrived back home, I approached my own life very differently.
2. To do what I love. Interestingly, there are very few other areas of my life where I feel more at home and happy then when I am traveling. I really enjoy experiencing the unknown and all of the possibilities it has to offer. I guess I feel totally free; free from obligation and expectation. I am able to explore on my own terms and be who I want to be without negative consequences. When I am planning a trip, my excitement consumes me. I can’t help but wonder; what am I going to see? Who am I going to meet? What am I going to learn?
3. Re-live my youth. Unlike many of my peers, I skipped the university experience. When I graduated high school I went straight to working full time at my family’s business. It wasn’t until later in my life that I went back to university and got an education and got the job that I have now. I never had the opportunity to have 4 months off for 4 years and travel when I was younger. I was too focused on making money and buying my first house. I wanted to be an adult as fast I could.
Traveling now allows me to capture some of those stolen moments. The best thing is I have more money and resources behind me now so I can travel without incurring debt and causing financial strain which would have happened if I had done it in my younger days. I also have a partner to travel with, my husband, which allows us to grow and experience with each other by our side.
4. Redefine my boundaries. Being in a completely different environment than what I am used to excites me. I am somehow willing to try anything, regardless of what the consequences can be. When I was in Europe for the first time, I decided to try para-gliding in Austria. It was an amazing experience. However, if you would have asked me when I was still at home if it would run off of a mountain and free fall to the ground, I would probably have said “no way”. Being somewhere different allowed me to push my boundaries and cast my fears aside. Not only was it liberating and a ton of fun but it has made me push myself harder and further in other areas of my life which has only led to success.
5. Enhance my education. Learning through textbooks is not the same as learning hands on. I much prefer learning through experience. I find I never forget what I experience whereas I can forget what I have read.
Traveling allows me to enhance my education of the world around me through experience. I get to see first hand how something is made or used, or taste a food that I have never heard about before. I get to experience history by walking through castles and basilicas instead of reading about it or watching a documentary on TV. I get to discover the world for what it is first hand instead of through someone else’s eyes. I am able to learn about something honestly instead of through a tainted image painted by someone else.
The knowledge I have gained through my travels to date has enhanced my life and opportunities in so many ways. I have never learned something that hasn’t proven useful.
Travel isn’t cheap and to many is viewed as a luxury but to me it is something worth splurging on from one year to the next. The personal gains I get from my investment are invaluable!
Clearing Up Social Debt in 3 Steps
Debt can be thought of as a disease–probably social. Most of the time, it was acquired through poor decision making, possibly while competing with your friends, occasionally after having a few too many, often as an ego boost. Unfortunately, you can’t make it go away with a simple shot of penicillin. It takes work, commitment and dedication. Here are three steps to treating this particular affliction.
1. Burn it, bash it, torch it, toss it, disinfect. Get rid of the things that enable you to accumulate debt. If you keep using debt as debt, you will never have it all paid off. That’s like only taking 3 days of a 10 day antibiotic. Do you really want that itchy rash bloodsucking debt rearing its ugly head when you’ve got an important destination for your money? Take steps to protect yourself. Wrap that debt up and keep it away.
2. Quit buying stuff. Chances are, you have enough stuff. Do you really need that Tusken Raider bobble-head or the brushed titanium spork? They may make you feel better in the short term, but after breakfast, what have you gained? A fleeting memory, a bit of cleanup, and an odd ache that you can’t quite explain to your friends. Only buy the stuff you need, and make it things you will keep forever. If you do need to indulge, hold off for 30 days to see if it’s really worthwhile. If it’s really worth having, you can scratch that itch in a month with far fewer regrets.
3. Spend less. This is the obvious one. The simple one. The one that makes breaking a heroin addiction look like a cake-walk(My apologies to recovering heroin addicts. If you’re to the point that personal finance is important to you, you’ve come a long way. Congratulations!). Cut your bills, increase your income. Do whatever it takes to lower your bottom line and raise your top line. Call your utilities. If they are going to take your money, make them work for it. If they can’t buy you drinks or lower your payments, get them out of your life. There’s almost always an alternative. Don’t be afraid to banish your toxic payments. Eliminate your debt payments. This page has a useful guide to debt and how to clear it off.
Update: This post has been included in the Festival of Frugality.
Delayed Gratification
I work daily to raise my kids to be more financially responsible than I have been. One of the most difficult pieces has been to explain the benefits of delayed gratification to my children. It’s hard enough, as an adult, to take delayed gratification to heart. For a child? It seems to be almost impossible.
My son wants an XBox 360 Elite. Good for him. He wants to renegotiate the terms of his allowance to get it faster. Currently, every other time he gets an allowance paid out, it goes into his bank account, to be mostly untouched. The other times he can do as he pleases with his money. We are enforcing a 50% long term savings plan. Now, with a medium-term goal in mind, he wants to keep all of his money, and only put gift money into the bank account.
Should we let him tap his bank account for a shiny new bauble? It’s been building for a while, so it’s delayed, right? I don’t think that would accomplish much. Like any other 10-year-old, his interests change often.
Should we let him change the terms of our agreement, speeding a medium-term goal at the expense of his long-term savings? My wife and I haven’t had a chance to discuss this, but my initial reaction is not to allow it. His savings has the potential to turn into a decent car in a few years, if he wants. That would be a car he knows he earned.
Last week, when we were at the store, he asked if he could borrow some money to buy a game. I don’t expect him to carry his money around everywhere, so I would have allowed it, if he would have had the money at home. He didn’t. His plan was to pay me what he did have as soon as we got home, then work his butt off for a few days to earn enough extra to pay it back. I won’t be a credit agency for my kids, so I said no. He was disappointed, but, by the time he had earned the money, he no longer wanted the game. I consider that a win, but I don’t know that he learned any lesson other than “Dad’s a jerk.”
Someday, when his life launch is smooth due to a lack of debt-dependence, he’ll look back on these lessons and smile.
I hope.
4 Ways to Change Your Life for the Better
Everybody has bad days. Everybody has horrible days. That doesn’t matter. The important thing is how you feel about your life as a whole. What can you do to make your life more worth living?
1. Get out of debt. When you’ve got no debt to pay, you have more options and less risk. If you’re paying $1500 just to service your debt, it will be $1500 harder if you lose your job. If you’ve got no debt payments to make, the impact of losing an income stream is far less. On top of that, you’ll have that much more money to do the things you love every month.
2. Find something you love to do…and do it. Everybody has to do things they hate. For some, it’s cleaning up the cat’s litter box, for others, they die inside a little each time they punch a time clock. Life isn’t all puppy dogs and ice cream, but it’s important to have a little ice cream in your life. What do you love doing? Is there anything you love that you can start doing? Start a business, write a book, volunteer for a charity that matches your values, or grow the world’s largest pumpkin. Whatever it is, it’s time to get started.
3. Eliminate the things you hate. Life’s too short to live with the things you hate. If something is destroying the value of your life, get rid of it. Now, I’m not suggesting you off your mother-in-law, but it may be worth ignoring the phone when her number shows up on the caller ID and skipping Sunday dinner with her. If you hate your job, find another. If you can’t find a way to eliminate what you hate, embrace it and learn to love it, or you will eventually hate more of your life than just the bit driving you crazy.
4. Let the ones you love know you do. Do your children know you love them? Does your spouse? Are you sure? If a meteor fell on your head today, would your kids spend the rest of their lives wondering how you felt? If your wife were in a car accident today, would there be anything you wish you would have said? Now, today, this morning, this second is the right time to let your loved ones know you care. Don’t wait. If you haven’t made it a habit, it may feel awkward. Get over it. Your wife and kids will love you more knowing beyond doubt that you love them. A tight bond with your family can’t be bought, it can’t be bribed, and it can’t be faked. It is worth everything.
What’s one thing you could do today to make your life better?
Failure! 30 Day Project Summary – March
My 30 Day Project for the month of March has been to do 100 sit-ups in a single set. Based on February’s results, I had a plan.
I will be doing 5 sets, morning and night, as follows:
Set 1: Half of my maximum amount.
Sets 2-4: 3/4 of my max.
Set 5: Do sit-ups until my abs start to cramp, thus setting my max for the next session.
I failed miserably.
It started off perfectly. My base amount was 20 sit-ups. I had a plan. I’d proven, at least to myself, that I was able to follow an intense workout plan, even through pain. I was encouraged by February’s results, so I dove in.
The first 3 or 4 days went well. I had some muscle strain, but that was expected. I hadn’t done sit-ups for years. I discovered muscles I actually hadn’t known existed, just from how they hurt. This was the good pain, the pain that shows progress. After doing the push-ups in February, this pain wasn’t as bad as I had expected. Push-ups are an excellent ab workout.
Maybe I became complacent. Either my form slipped, or I was going too fast and “bounced” through the sit-ups, but I pulled a muscle in my back. This was the bad pain, the pain that warns of fundamental problems. My form, my size, my history of back problems, who knows? One or more of those possible problems reared up to turn an excellent idea into a disaster. March’s plan got sidelined for a few days.
When my back was better, I started again. Again, everything was fine for 3 or 4 days. Then my back betrayed me, again. Another break, another try, another strain and I gave up. I made it to 50, then just stopped. Too much more, and I wouldn’t be able to tolerate sitting at my desk. Or maybe I just wimped out, afraid to hurt my back again.
I’m disappointed. I haven’t done a single sit-up in the last week.
To make matters worse, without the sit-ups to do in the morning, I’ve been letting myself snooze my alarm clock instead of getting up at 5. March has been such a slacker month.
Lesson learned: Always listen to your body. Don’t get tied into a specific routine–even one you created for yourself–if your body is demanding to stop. Watch your form and make sure you aren’t putting undue strain on anything that can cause long-term damage.
Lesson learned, part II: Push-ups are more fun and less painful than sit-ups. They will be getting incorporated into my ongoing routine.
Ending the sit-ups did leave me enough energy to get an early start on April’s 30 Day Project. The goal for next month is to declutter every room in the house: Every closet, every dresser, every drawer.
To start, we replaced our son’s dresser, bed, and desk with a loft-bed that combines the three. While transferring items from the desk and dresser to the new bed, everything was sorted to make sure it still fit and was used and useful. If it didn’t meet those criteria, it was either tossed or priced and boxed for a garage sale.
In the girls’ room, we removed a dresser, the changing table, a toddler bed, a convertible crib/toddler bed. It all got replaced with a set of bunk beds and the dresser we took from our son. Everything got the same garage-sale check before it was put away.
Both of these changes easily tripled the usable floor space in each room and all of the kids love their new beds. Using the magic of Craigslist, I think we got the new furniture for 10-15% of retail, and have old furniture to add to our sale, which will further defray the cost.
This leaves the master bedroom, the bathroom, the front closet, the kitchen and our entire basement to go. Shoes and jackets that have never been worn. Books that will never be reread. Bye-bye. Some of it will be painful, but we all realize it’s necessary. We’ve already filled more than 2 dozen boxes of stuff to sell. None of it is coming back in the house. If it doesn’t sell, we’re donating it.
More to come as we progress through the mountains of crap.