I own a dresser full of clothes, plus about a dozen button-down shirts, and 1 suit. On top of that, I own two pairs of winter boots, 2 pairs of everyday black boots, 1 pair of sneakers, and my beloved Vibram 5 Fingers.
I do not own 60 rubbermaid containers full of clothes.
Unfortunately, my mother-in-law did.
This picture is of rubbermaid containers stacked 4x5x3, with around 20 garbage bags full of clothes, hangers, and shoes thrown on top. And a little girl who was asked to pose to provide scale, but decided to run around the pile instead.
We’ve got about 50 bags of garbage waiting for the dumpster to get delivered, and a garage full of enough stuff to hide two cars.
This is how I’ve been spending my weekends. Hopefully, by the end of the coming weekend, we can get a contractor in the house to discuss fixing it up as a rental unit.
Hoarding is a serious problem. As we go through the house and her collected papers, I’m realizing how little I let my mother-in-law’s mental state play into my interactions with her. We had a rough relationship, and I’m only now starting to realize some of the foundations of that. I doubt we would have gotten along, but there would have been less stress if I had been more forgiving.
Until you can get in someone’s head, try to keep forgiveness and compassion in your interactions(barring outright evil). You may be surprised at how your relations unfold.
It’s so true, you really can’t know what’s going on in someone else’s head. Sometimes it’s hard. Someone I know has issues of depression and bi-polarity, and each interaction you don’t know what to expect but patience and understanding help.
Not only is a person a collection of all their experiences and environments that they have been exposed to, but also a product of how that person process those events. It all becomes part of the whole general mish-mash that makes up a person. I know that I have a very hard time sometimes trying to look at the person as a whole versus just seeing things that are easily to react to. I have noticed this a lot when it comes to political views. When I find out how a person leans politically, I do have a tendency to judge them on the spot. However, I find out his or her views after I get to know the person, it doesn’t bother me as much.
You are not alone.
I’m sorry you feel a little regret about your interactions, but given her issues, you two probably would never have gotten along well. And yes, 60 crates of clothing is too dang much. I hope you get your weekends back again soon.
I agree with your last comment on forgiveness and compassion. Often, we assume we know what another is thinking, when we might not truly understand. They might actually have other issues we don’t even know about. It’s not easy with all people – believe me, I know first hand. But it’s good to try.