Little Monster Late Fees

Last week, I paid a late fee to daycare. I neverpay daycare late.

little monsters

Image by sekundo via Flickr

Except last week.

As I’ve said before, I work 80 hours a week.

For the last couple of weeks, my three year old has decided that she needs to sleep in every morning. No getting up at 6:30 for her. No way. That little prima donna wants to lounge in bed until 8, then watch a movie while eating breakfast in bed. She’s never gotten that treatment, so I don’t know why it’s become her goal.

Last week, she decided to throw a tantrum when I woke her up.

Followed by a tantrum when I reminded her she doesn’t get to wear diapers during the day.

Followed by a tantrum when I dared to pick out clothes that didn’t have horses, or didn’t look right, or weren’t sweats, or weren’t picked out by Mom, or this, or that or….

I’ve been the one to get her ready almost every morning for 3 years and she has never been catered to that way.

Me: overtired, with 1000 things on my mind.

Her: diva training, trying to wake up.

Her sister: teasing, asking questions, and generally doing her best to stand under my feet.

Her brother: gets himself ready, but tries to avoid combing his hair before school, and can’t be relied on to put on clean clothes.

Me: overtired. Juggling getting three kids and myself ready to leave. 1000 things on my mind.

Daycare: What check?

She finally got paid on Thursday. Over the 12 years we’ve had kids there, we’ve paid late maybe 5 times. I hate late fees.

What’s the fix?

Checklists don’t work for me, when I’m rushing around. I tend to ignore them while I’m herding children.

Selling the monsters to the gypsies is out. They are far too difficult to succeed working in the salt mines.

We need to start picking out clothes the night before, to short-circuit most of the tantrum. We also need to enforce bedtimes better, but that’s hard to do Sunday night if they are allowed to nap too long on Sunday afternoon, which happens when I nap with my kids on Sunday afternoon.

Maybe the best solution is to switch schedules with my wife. I’ll go in to work between 6 and 7. She can herd monsters while trying to get ready for work.

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53 Percent

A old Chinese woman is split in two to wash th...

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I didn’t grow up with money. I never lacked for anything important, like food, clothes, shelter, affection, but we weren’t exactly rolling in cash.

When I was 6, I got a paper route so I could buy my own toys.

When I was 13, I started doing odd jobs on nearby farms.

When I was 15, I worked construction with my Dad in the summer. When school started in the fall, I gave up a study hall and my lunch period to work in the lunch room, serving food and washing dishes, for $4.25 per hour.

Within two weeks of getting my driver’s license at 16, I got a job working evenings and weekends washing dishes. I’d call it a part-time job, but it wasn’t, most weeks. A couple of months of busting my butt got me promoted to cook, which was more fun and had better pay. $6.25 and hour was a decent amount for a teenager in 1994.

Three days after graduating high school, I moved out.

At 18, I was living on my own, working two jobs. During the day, I stacked pallets. I stood at the end of a conveyor belt, picked up the 50 pound bags as they came my way, took 3 steps and set them back down. 1500 times a day. In the evenings, I was a cook at a different restaurant 5 miles away. My car was broken, so I had to bike to both jobs. In the winter. In Minnesota. That winter, my parents passed up a new washing machine to buy me a beater car so I didn’t have to freeze. It lasted until spring, but I’m still grateful for that car. That’s the only time I’ve taken money from my parents as an adult.

At 20, I was working 12 hour graveyard shifts in a machine shop when Brat #1 came along. I’d work from 5PM to 5AM, come home and take the baby so my wife could get 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. That kid drank 8-10 ounces of milk or formula every hour, so without that, the idea of uninterrupted sleep was a cruel joke. We qualified for WIC, a “feed your family” welfare program. I was broke and scared of formula prices, so we signed up. My son puked up the one brand of formula we were allowed, and it hurt my pride, so we cancelled without ever using the benefits.

After 6 months of missing so much of my family’s life, I quit that job and moved into a call center, taking a $4/hour pay cut, before overtime. Fortunately, busting my butt every day allowed me to stomp all over my goals and get some decent bonus pay.

Working a daytime schedule also allowed me to go to school part-time. Here’s the scene: At 21, I had a baby, a full-time job, and I was going to school. I took student loans to make that happen. I was also doing side jobs fixing computers. Traveling IT for people who have no idea how to work a mouse. During this time, we started accumulating debt, based entirely on our own choices.

Within a few months of graduating, the years of busting my butt in the call center paid off and I got promoted to be the administrator for the phone system and collection system, which gave me valuable experience.

Until I got laid off.

Again, busting my butt saved it. My boss volunteered to “forget” about the vacation time I had used that year so it would get cashed out on my last day. I could cover expenses for a while.

Job hunting became a full-time job and it paid off. I landed my current job right as my funds ran out.

I work, on average, 50 hours per week. When it’s needed, I’ve cleared 100 hour work weeks. I have a side business as a firearms instructor. I have a side business doing web consulting for businesses. I blog here.

I do whatever it takes to support my family. I am that support.

I have never had an unemployment check, and I’ve never used government charity.

I have busted my butt to be where I am today, and continue to bust my butt to make it better.

Some day, I’ll be out of debt, and that will also be due to hard work, not charity.

I love my family.

I pay my taxes.

I give to charity.

I am the 53%.

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4 Ways to Change Your Life for the Better

Everybody has bad days. Everybody has horrible days. That doesn’t matter. The important thing is how you feel about your life as a whole. What can you do to make your life more worth living?

1. Get out of debt. When you’ve got no debt to pay, you have more options and less risk. If you’re paying $1500 just to service your debt, it will be $1500 harder if you lose your job. If you’ve got no debt payments to make, the impact of losing an income stream is far less. On top of that, you’ll have that much more money to do the things you love every month.

2. Find something you love to do…and do it. Everybody has to do things they hate. For some, it’s cleaning up the cat’s litter box, for others, they die inside a little each time they punch a time clock. Life isn’t all puppy dogs and ice cream, but it’s important to have a little ice cream in your life. What do you love doing? Is there anything you love that you can start doing? Start a business, write a book, volunteer for a charity that matches your values, or grow the world’s largest pumpkin. Whatever it is, it’s time to get started.

3. Eliminate the things you hate. Life’s too short to live with the things you hate. If something is destroying the value of your life, get rid of it. Now, I’m not suggesting you off your mother-in-law, but it may be worth ignoring the phone when her number shows up on the caller ID and skipping Sunday dinner with her. If you hate your job, find another. If you can’t find a way to eliminate what you hate, embrace it and learn to love it, or you will eventually hate more of your life than just the bit driving you crazy.

4. Let the ones you love know you do. Do your children know you love them? Does your spouse? Are you sure? If a meteor fell on your head today, would your kids spend the rest of their lives wondering how you felt? If your wife were in a car accident today, would there be anything you wish you would have said? Now, today, this morning, this second is the right time to let your loved ones know you care. Don’t wait. If you haven’t made it a habit, it may feel awkward. Get over it. Your wife and kids will love you more knowing beyond doubt that you love them. A tight bond with your family can’t be bought, it can’t be bribed, and it can’t be faked. It is worth everything.

What’s one thing you could do today to make your life better?

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Family Bed: How to Make It Stop

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For years, my kids shared my bed.

When my oldest was a baby, I was working a graveyard shift, so my wife was alone with the baby at night. It was easy to keep a couple of bottles in a cooler by the bed and not have to get out of bed to take care of him when he woke up once an hour to drink a full bottle.

Then he got older. And bigger. And bigger.

We tried to move him to his own bed a few times, but it never worked well. He’d scream if we put him in a crib, so we got him a bed at 9 months old. That just meant he was free to join us whenever he woke up. Brat.

We finally got him to voluntarily move to his own bed after his sister was born. Shortly after she was born, I woke up to see him using her as a pillow. To paint the proper picture, this kid is 5’9″ and wears size 12 shoes. At 11. When I woke him up to tell him what he was doing, he decided to sleep in his own bed.

Method #1 to get your kids in their own bed: Have kid 1 try to crush kid 2 and feel bad about it.

Method #1 isn’t a great solution.

Soon, baby #3 showed up and we had 2 monsters in bed with us again. Once they started getting bigger, it became difficult for the 4 of us to sleep. We tried to get them into their own beds. Unfortunately, even as toddlers, my kids had a stubborn streak almost as big as my own. Nothing worked.

Eventually, they got big enough that I was crowded right out of the bed. At least we had a comfortable couch.

Sleeping on a couch gets old.

When the girls got old enough to reason with, we had a choice: We either had to find a way to convince them they wanted to sleep in their own room, or we had to have a fourth brat for them to attempt to crush at night.

We went with bribery. Outright, blatant bribery.

We put a chart on the wall with each of their names and 7 boxes. Every night they slept in their own beds, they got to check a box. When all of the boxes were checked, they got $5 and a trip to the toy store.

It took 10 days to empty our bed and it’s been peaceful sleeping since. That’s $5 well-spent.

Have you done a family bed? How did it work? How long did it last?

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