- Image by Sailing “Footprints: Real to Reel” (Ronn ashore) via Flickr
I’m lazy.
Really, I am. When I get home from work, I want nothing more than to plop down on the couch, dial up a movie and ignore the world for a few hours. I need some downtime to relax.
While I am keeping the couch from flying away, my wife gets home, makes dinner, does the dishes, changes the cat litter and maybe vacuums the floor. Once dinner is cooking, she usually throws in a load of laundry. Three kids is a great way to guarantee a lot of laundry needs to get washed.
I have just two things to say about that:
- It makes me feel really lazy.
- I love you, honey!
I’ve never considered it a problem because I work my butt off on the weekend. My wife isn’t happy with the arrangement because I tend to do next to nothing during the week. I think it’s a good balance. I’m productive on the weekend, she’s productive during the week. Unfortunately, my habitual laziness has caused a bit of tension. We’ve had a few “discussions” about that balance. It’s obviously not working.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve been trying something new. When I get home from work I’ve been doing just 1 thing. I do one thing per day. One day, I fold laundry, another day I do the dishes. Some days, I pick a room to organize. It’s never very much, but it’s always something that needs to be done and, possibly most important, it looks like I’m doing more so my wife feels less abandoned to the housework. I’m not actually doing more, but it gets spread out over the week, so it looks like more. Slowly, surely, all of the work is getting done.
It’s not a perfect solution, but it seems to be working. More is getting done, my wife feels like I’m helping out more and I get more time on the weekends to pursue whatever I feel like pursuing. It’s a win for each of us.
How do you balance relaxation and a shared workload?
I’m going to brag just a little because I’m so proud of us. My husband and I have been together for 9 years and married for 5…it took us about 8 1/2 years to reach the point that we actually don’t bicker about chores hardly at all!
We both have come to realize our own strengths and weaknesses and have learned to work together to make things happen. He loads the dishwasher with his Tetris skills and I unload. I take care of the dogs 90% of the time (allergy meds, food, vet appts, and groomer appts) but he takes care of all things electronic and furniture (he loads up my Ipod with the audio books I pick out and puts together all furniture we buy or need fixed). We both have days where we don’t feel like doing anything at all, so the other person steps up and knows that they will have one of those days soon.
It’s been working like a charm, so I am super happy. It feels good not to have to nag to get things done and we both love the way our living area looks now. 🙂 He stepped up and I stepped off my high horse, lol…we met in the middle.
Good for you!
I tend to take on so many side projects and work long enough hours that all I want to do when it’s done is zone out on bad tv.
We mostly split the cooking duties. I deal with the kitty litter, and she does most everything else. I help vacuum and fold clothes sometime. I drive her around. I don’t like to do the dishes. It seems to be working out.
I really enjoyed reading this but one thing struck me – your strategy may only work as long as your wife doesn’t read this post.
I make a list of 3 things a day at work to accomplish, and 3 things in my personal life to accomplish when I get back.
Works out beautifully. 🙂
That’s a good idea. 3 things is kind of ambitious….