How You’re Finding Me

Every once in a while, I like to dig through Google Analytics and see how  people are finding this site.   Some of the search terms are interesting.

“father of three” mid life crisis

Here’s a free piece of advice.  As a father of three, you don’t get to have a mid-life crisis.  It’s not allowed.  Rather, it’s allowed, but you aren’t allowed to act on it.   At a minimum, until your children are out of the house, you need to man up and provide all of the support you possibly can.  No sports cars you can’t afford and no 22 year old hardbodies.   Be there for your kids.

“payday loans” which accepts guest posts

Payday loan marketing.   Just go away.  You aren’t running a guest post here.

slow carb” hungry all the time

You’re doing it wrong.  If you are hungry, eat more bacon.   Or beans.   Beans fill you up longer.

$1000000 business idea

Ideas are the easy part.  Execution makes you a millionaire.

articles on why appearance shouldn’t matter?

Appearances do matter, and always will.  Your appearance is what makes the initial impression when you meet someone new.  You don’t have to be a model, but basic grooming and fashion sense is necessary.   Take this with a grain of salt.  I’ve got a week’s growth of a beard and I wear a different plaid, button-down shirt every day.

are push ups supposed to be hard

Only the first 50.  After that, I kind of go on blissed-out autopilot.  If you can do 100 pushups, you can probably do 200.

acceptable place to put tattoo

If you wear clothes there, you can put a tattoo there.   Visible tattoos are called “job stoppers” for a reason.  If you put a tattoo on your face, the only job you qualify for is “drug dealer’s girlfriend”.   Or possibly prison janitor.

burning bridges with toxic people

If you must burn bridges, filling them with toxic people first isn’t a bad idea.

candied pork butt

Rule 34:  If it exists, there is porn of it.  Interesting side story: while double-checking the rule number, I stumbled across My Little Ponies doing things they never advertise on the box.

cut my wife’s hair

I did this once.   Pro tip:  In the back, at the bottom, cut small chunks and leave them longer than you think they should be.  You can always cut more, but uncutting hair is really hard.

f***** on the roadside by your mechanic

He probably deserves a tip for that.

girls fart for money and girls live farts

See the bit about the pork butt, remove the funny, and…ewww.

how to be a successful debtor

I recommend starting by paying your bills.  When the debts are gone, you win.  Success!

i ate bacon on slow carb diet

So did everyone else, sweetie.  It’s the biggest draw to the slow carb diet.

in memory of pets tattoos

When I get a pet, I get it with the understanding that I’m going to outlive it.   The day I bring it home, some small part of me is preparing for the day when I have to dig a hole in my backyard.   Tattooing that day?  Not gonna happen.

thickening felt behind testicle

Why are you on google?  Go to the doctor.  Please?

Interesting.  Between girls farting and my post about being well-trained, there is a significant amount of fetish traffic coming through here.  Maybe I need to explore a new advertising strategy.

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    1. Jason, you are hilarious. When are you going to write a book? I know you have a lot of “side hustles” selling other people’s products, but the number one product you should be selling is YOU. Your combination of humor and tough love would burn up the best seller lists.

    2. Haha! Love that you are giving advise for these search inquiries which can only lead to more traffic from the same types of inquires. Funny stuff.

    3. You are correct. There are all manner of crazy people searching the web. Sometimes they land at my site (and yours obviously). Haven’t found fetishism to be high on the list though.

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