Comments on: Bribes vs Rewards

By: Matt

Matt — Sat, 10 Sep 2011 05:47:30 +0000

I think that the wrong question is being asked because a bribe is pre-tense whereas a reward is post. The real question should be “is there a difference between a bribe and incentive” a bribe carries a negative connotation and in self seeking. On the other hand we can incentivize our children so that they know that hard work will will eventually pay off.

By: Jason

Jason — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 13:05:14 +0000

That is an incredibly good point that I had completely overlooked. I have some, but not much, experience with special needs kids, and that angle hadn’t occurred to me. Thank you for bringing it up.

By: Wendy Richards

Wendy Richards — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 10:59:02 +0000

This is fine for normally developing children, but when dealing with special needs children, they need concrete rewards in order to perform actions and learn new skills. They need to know what those rewards are in order to perform.

By: Jason

Jason — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 17:25:57 +0000

Lately, my son has come up “If I do good at a wrestling meet, can I have some money?”

The answer is always “No” to that. Specifically, “No, but you can have the feeling of being proud of what you’ve done” followed by a small speech about that being the only reward that really matter.

By: Julie

Julie — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 17:15:12 +0000

I’m still quite confused. I have a 9yo and feel that we are going down the slippery slope of bribes and expected rewards – however we need some type of behavioral modification plan with a “prize” at the end for positive behavior.
I feel he is always in the “what is in it for me” mode. I’ll do what you want me to do, but first tell me what it is worth to you. Definitely not the way I want to raise him.
Oh how to help him be more internally motivated than external?????

By: Jason

Jason — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 02:59:24 +0000

I agree completely. I try not to offer rewards reliably. My goal is that they are always a happy surprise.

By: marleana

marleana — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 00:50:06 +0000

I almost agree. My one concern (this may depend on age) is that we may be teaching our children that they should expect someone to reward them to do well or do what’s right rather than they should do what’s right because it’s right and the mere consequences of making right choices are rewards in and of themselves.

By: Carnival of Personal Finance #239 – Hot Money Trends of 2010 Edition | Darwin's Finance

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 04:10:55 +0000

[...] from Live Real, Now presents Bribes vs Rewards, and says, “This is an article about family finance and responsibly reward positive behavior [...]

By: Jason

Jason — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 12:47:08 +0000

It’s a fine line to walk. It’s easy to slip over to the dark side and bribe kids.

By: Ken

Ken — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 02:42:36 +0000

Thanks for the reminder that bribes don’t work. As the father of 2 boys I need to be a rewarder. No easy task.